0 


OTHER  WORKS 
BY  PERCY  MACKAYE 


The  Canterbury  Pilgrims.     A  Comedy 

Jeanne  d"  Arc.     A  Tragedy 

Sappho  and  Phaon.     A  Tragedy 

Fenris,  the  Wolf.     A  Tragedy 

A  Garland  to  Sylvia.     A  Dramatic  Reverie 

The  Scarecrow.    A  Tragedy  of  the  Ludicrous 

Mater.     An  American  Study  in  Comedy 

Poems 

Lincoln :    A  Centenary  Ode 

The  Playhouse  and  the  Play.     Essays 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 


•'.••:''•'•••••     •    ,    • '. 

*  :.-:•...-  •;;.  :  «  .  : 


PARDON    ME:    THERE    IS   ALWAYS   A    BALL' 
Miss  Crosman  as  "Amorata"  in  Act  Third 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

A    Satirical    Comedy 

BY 

PERCY  MACKAYE 


"A  tinge  of  free  soul-contemplation. 
And  cosmopolitanisation, 
An  outlook  through  the  cloudy  rifts, 
By  narrow  prejudice  unhemmed, 
A  stamp  of  high  illumination, 
An  Ur-Natur,  with  lore  of  life:  *  * 
The  reason  is — that  Fm  unmarried." 
IBSEN:  Peer  Gynt. 


NEW   YORK 

FREDERICK   A.    STOKES   COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


Copyright,  1910,  by 
FREDERICK  A.  STOKES  COMPANY 


All  rights  reserved,  including  that  of  translation  into  foreign 
languages,  including  the  Scandinavian 


November,  1910 


HAROLD   STEELE   MACKAYE 

THIS  PLAY   IS  AFFECTIONATELY  DEDICATED 
BY  HIS  BROTHER 


3^4988 


CHARACTERS 

REV.  ELLIOTT  GREY. 
MILDRED,  his  wife. 
MORRIS,  his  younger  brother. 
MRS.  GREY,  his  mother. 
ISABELLE,  Mildred's  younger  sister. 


TIME — The  Present. 

PLACE — The  Grey  Homestead,  in  a  Suburban  Town 
of  Massachusetts. 


FOREWORD 

THE  acting  rights  of  this  play  in  America  are  held, 
for  Miss  Henrietta  Crosman,  by  Mr.  Maurice  Camp 
bell,  under  whose  management  it  was  first  produced 
on  the  stage  at  Ann  Arbor,  Michigan,  May  10,  1910, 
since  when  it  has  been  acted,  in  consecutive  perform 
ances,  through  the  Western  States,  opening  in  New 
York,  at  the  Garrick  Theatre,  September  22,  1910. 

All  persons  desiring  to  read  in  public  this  or  any 
other  play  by  the  author  are  requested  to  confer  with 
the  author  through  the  publishers. 

The  plays  of  Ibsen,  and  of  other  European  masters 
in  the  modern  drama,  about  whose  works  much  of  the 
dialogue  of  "Anti-Matrimony"  lightly  circles,  are — 
it  would  seem  needless  to  state  here — far  removed, 
by  their  sincerity  and  genius,  beyond  the  direct  shafts 
of  this  playful  satire.  Since,  however,  certain  printed 
interpretations  of  the  acted  play  have  quaintly  mis 
conceived  the  main  object  of  its  allusions,  and  also  im 
puted  to  them  a  personal  instead  of  a  dramatic  value, 
it  may  be  fitting  to  refer  any  reader,  curious  of  the 
writer's  personal  estimate  of  "the  Masters"  and  their 
American  "disciples,"  to  his  published  volume,  "The 
Playhouse  and  the  Play,"  pages  ninety-seven  to  one 
hundred  one. 

P.  M-K. 

CORNISH,  NEW  HAMPSHIRE,  October,  1910. 


PROGRAMME  OF  THE  PLAY 

as  first  produced  in  New  York 
at  the  Garrick  Theatre 

September  22,  1910. 
CHARLES  FROHMAN:  MANAGER 

MAURICE  CAMPBELL 

Presents 

HENRIETTA  CROSMAN 

in 

ANTI-MATRIMONY 

BY    PERCY   MACKAYE 


CAST  OF  CHARACTERS 

REV.  ELLIOTT  GREY Walter  Greene 

MILDRED,  his  wife Miss  Crosman 

MORRIS,  his  younger  brother Gordon  Johnstone 

MRS.  GREY,  7m  mother Marian  Holcombe 

ISABELLE,  Mildred's  younger  sister.  .  .  .Grace  Carlyle 


ACT    I 


ACT    I 

The  Hall — used  as  a  library  and  living-room — of  the 
Grey  homestead,  in  a  suburban  town  of  Massa 
chusetts.  Through  an  open  door  and  casement 
window  at  back  is  visible  an  apple  orchard,  in  full 
bloom,  with  a  distant  vista  of  an  old  wooden  struc 
ture  shaded  by  elms.  At  the  right  of  centre,  a 
staircase  ascends  to  a  landing,  which  leads  to  inner 
rooms,  right.  A  window,  at  back,  lights  the  land 
ing,  which  is  separated  from  the  hall  by  a  slender 
railing  and  by  curtains  between  the  woodwork. 
At  left  and  right,  down  stage,  doors.  At  right,  a 
•fireplace,  above  which  hangs  a  large  diagram  map. 
On  the  mantel  shelf,  a  clock.  Beneath  the  land 
ing,  a  low  desk,  littered  with  papers.  At  left  cen 
tre,  an  ample  table.  Under  the  casement  window, 
at  back,  and  left,  book  shelves.  Near  the  newel- 
post  of  the  stairs,  a  small  table  on  which  are  a  vase 
and  a  phonograph.  At  right,  a  settee.  The  remain 
ing  furniture  is  quietly  tasteful  and  old-fashioned. 

ELLIOTT  GREY  is  sitting  at  the  desk;  MORRIS  is  stand 
ing  near  the  door.  The  former  is  dressed  in  plain, 
unministerial  garb — a  quiet,  everyday  working 
suit;  the  latter  wears  clothes  which  suggest  a  pro 
nounced  exotic  taste. 

3 


4  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[Rising.] 
Well,  Morris,  and  how  does  it  seem  after  five  years? 

MORRIS 
How  does  what  seem? 

ELLIOTT 

The  old  place.  The  city  has  slowly  risen  round 
us  like  a  tide,  but  it  has  left  this  piece  of  our  old 
homestead  like  a  little  island.  From  where  you  stand 
that  outlook  has  hardly  changed  since  we  were  boys. 

MORRIS 

I  beg  pardon.  From  where  7  stand  the  outlook 
has  utterly  changed. 

ELLIOTT 

[With  a  quick  smile.] 

Introspectively,  you  mean?  Well,  I  still  see  the 
same  old  apple  orchard  and  the  cider-mill  dam,  where 
we  used  to  fish  for  suckers. 

MORRIS 
[Caustically.] 
And  the  suckers  still  bite,  I  suppose! 

ELLIOTT 

[Putting  an  arm  over  his  shoulder.] 
Come,  come,  dear  old  Morris 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  5 

MORRIS 

[Detaching  himself. ~\ 

Please !  Have  the  decency,  Elliott,  not  to  nickname 
me.  My  name  is  Maurice. 

ELLIOTT 
[Laughing.] 

Oh,  I  forgot.  You  brought  that  back  from  Paris 
with  your  imperial.  Honestly,  though ;  they're  both 
a  bit  far-fetched,  don't  you  think? 

MORRIS 

Yes,  thank  God !  I  had  to  go  far  for  it,  but  I've 
brought  back  an  aesthetic  sense  at  least — to  this  bleak 
old  place.  Do  you  want  to  know  what  /  see  out  there 
in  that  orchard? 

ELLIOTT 
Tell  me. 

MORRIS 

In  the  shade  of  dead  boughs,  I  see  the  shadows  of 
dead  men:  wan,  bony  forms  in  black,  with  square 
skulls  hid  deep  in  Puritan  peaked  hats.  Beneath  nine 
withered  cypresses  they  have  twisted  nine  pulpits  of 
poison  ivy,  from  which  they  preach  to  the  generations 
of  young  girls  and  boys.  And  the  text  of  all  nine  is 
Hypocrisy.  You,  Elliott,  are  the  latest  of  their  pro 
fession — in  the  dear  old  homestead. 


6  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[Quietly.] 
And  you  are  my  brother. 

MORRIS 

Very  true;  that's  why  I'm  here.  Because  we  are 
brothers,  I  am  here  to  save  you.  I  have  come  back 
from  Europe,  from  the  places  of  art  and  freedom  and 
modernity,  to  this  home  churchyard,  to  rescue  you 
from  the  ghosts  of  our  Puritan  ancestors ;  to  mount 
beside  you  into  that  old  pulpit  of  yours  next  Sun 
day,  and  declare  war  against  all  the  spectres  of  con 
vention. 

ELLIOTT 

So  you  would  preach  too ! 

MORRIS 

Yes;  iconoclasm,  schism,  revolution. 

ELLIOTT 

And  what  is  your  text? 

MORRIS 

Anti-Matrimony :  there  is  the  beginning  of  emanci 
pation. 

ELLIOTT 

Emancipation  of  what? 

MORRIS 
Of  the  individual — the  individual  soul. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  7 

ELLIOTT 

Honestly,  don't  you  think  there  are  more  important 
matters?  Look  at  this  chart  a  moment.  Here  is  a 
map  of  our  city — our  city  as  it  might  be — as  it  will 
be,  if  we  citizens  can  learn  to  care  less  about  our  own 
little  souls,  and  more  about  the  great  soul  about  us — 
the  community. 

[MORRIS  turns  away  with  a  shrug  and  lights  a  cig 
arette.]  • 

The  city — think  what  we  might  make  of  it!  Not 
a  crumbling  heap  of  scrambling  individuals,  each  seek 
ing  his  own  salvation  at  the  expense  of  all,  but  a 
strong  tower  of  Man — organic,  coherent,  self -planned, 
guarding  the  salvation  of  all  in  the  subordinated  good 
of  each. 

MORRIS 
[Humming.] 

Frere  Jacques,  Frere  Jacques, 
Dormez-vous  ?    Dormez-vous  ? 

MORRIS 

[Pointing  with  a  pen-holder.] 
Look:  here's  the  river,  fronted  by  public  archi 
tecture  and  the  park  embankment.  Here  are  com 
mons  for  the  children.  Here  are  public  tenements 
for  the  poor.  This  is  the  Hall  of  Labor.  Here  is 
the  civic  theatre,  focus  of  festival,  pageantry  and  the 
united  arts.  Here  are  the  central  library,  the  national 


8  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

academies — of  science,  painting,  sculpture;  the  pub 
lic  athletic  stadium.  These  are  the  Halls  of  Arbitra 
tion  and  Invention,  the  municipal  house  of  music,  the 
public  studios  of  the  arts  and  crafts. 

MORRIS 

Sonnez  les  matines, 

Sonnez  les  matines : 

Din-din-don ! 


ELLIOTT 

All  this,  my  dear  fellow,  is  no  chart  of  Utopia.  It 
is  the  published  plan  of  shrewd  public  leaders:  citi 
zens  who  no  longer  laugh  at  applying  imagination 
to  men's  common  interests.  This  now,  as  a  minister 
and  citizen,  is  my  chief  work  and  study,  and  I  am 
only  one  worker  among  a  hundred  thousand.  So  you 
see  this  "home-churchyard,"  as  you  call  it,  is  not 
wholly  haunted  by  ghosts.  What  do  you  say  to  our 
planning? 

MORRIS 

[Snapping  Ms  fingers.~\ 

That — for  your  ideal  community !  Freedom  is  the 
first  thing,  and  freedom  is  based  in  the  individual ;  but 
the  home  undermines  the  individual,  converting  him 
to  a  tyrant  or  a  slave.  Therefore  the  first  act  of  a 
free  community  must  be  to  abolish  the  home. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  9 

ELLIOTT 

Do  I  understand,  because  you  have  chosen  to  live 
with  Isabelle  outside  the  marriage  code,  that  you  ad 
vocate  a  similar  course  for  all  men? 

MORRIS 
Certainly.    Marriage  is  a  mere  makeshift. 

ELLIOTT 

Of  course;  I  grant  you  that,  at  once.  But  so  was 
the  tea-kettle  in  which  Watts  discovered  the  steam- 
engine — a  mere  makeshift.  In  the  sight  of  God,  what 
is  man  himself — but  a  makeshift?  Yet  it  is  surpris 
ing  what  a  miracle  can  be  educed  from  a  makeshift, 
if  we  have  the  patience  to  wheedle  it  and  the  imagina 
tion  to  construct  it. 

The  question  is :  For  a  starter,  what  have  we  better 
than  a  makeshift? 

[The  door,  right,  is  opened  a  little  way.     On  the  sill 
MRS.  GREY  pauses,  hesitatingly.] 

MORRIS 

What  have  we  better?  We  have  the  thing  itself — 
the  ideal — the  ultimate  consummation !  We  have  love 
— passionate,  chainless,  Olympian  love ;  yes,  free  love 
— free  love.  Do  the  words  burn  you? 

[The  door  is  closed  quickly  J\ 

ELLIOTT 

Hush!    That  was  mother. 


10  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MOREIS 

"Hush"!— The  Hypocrite's  own  lullaby! 

ELLIOTT 

You  might  be  tactful,  at  least. 

MORRIS 

Of  course !  "Tip-toe  goes  the  Tactful-Man !"  We 
learned  it  in  our  pinafores,  with  "Trotty  goes  a 
lady." 

ELLIOTT 

Don't  you  know  that  it  hurts — it  shocks  her? 

MORRIS 

Of  course  I  know  it.  I  know  that  it  shocked  the 
world  when  Galileo  told  it  that  it  turned.  Well,  there 
must  be  one  truth-teller  in  a  generation. 

ELLIOTT 

My  dear  Galileo !  the  world — as  you  have  said — will 
go  on  turning,  but  let  me  remind  you  that  it  revolves 
quietly  on  the  same  old  axis  and  never  treads  on  the 
corns  of  the  constellations.  Revolution  is  not  neces 
sarily  Chaos-come-again. 

MORRIS 

[Bows,  with  a  smile  J\ 

The  prettiest  retort  I've  heard  since  leaving  Paris. 
Quite  worthy  of  a  modern  and  a  European. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  11 

ELLIOTT 

[After  returning  his  mock-bow.] 
Thanks,  boy.    I  guess,  though,  you  and  I  are  still 
Yankee-stock,  with  some  salt  of  the  old  humor  to 
save  us. 

MORRIS 

No,  by  the  Lord,  not  I !  Your  American  humor  is 
the  bane  of  all  art  and  temperament  and  beauty !  It 
hangs  over  the  land  like  a  malaria ;  its  mosquitoes  in 
fect  you  with  an  itching  laughter.  No,  sir;  I've  re 
covered  once.  Deliver  me  from  ever  catching  that 
contagion  again. 

ELLIOTT 

[With  a  laugh.] 

I'm  afraid,  then,  you're  rashly  exposing  yourself 
here.  You'll  find  us  a  hotbed  of  Yankee  tricks — es 
pecially  Mildred. 

MORRIS 

Nonsense;  Mildred  is  a  cosmopolite.  To  be  sure, 
she  married  you,  a  Yankee  minister,  but  that  was  just 
tragic  fate,  and  she  has  kept  herself  wonderfully  un- 
contaminated.  [Exaltedly.]  Mildred  is  one  of  the 
Muses,  wandered  from  her  mountain.  I  have  hopes  of 
her  climbing  up  again — to  rejoin  Isabelle. 

ELLIOTT 

Capital !  Mildred  will  make  a  poet  of  you,  if  you 
give  her  the  chance. 


12  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

She  might  have  made  one  of  you,  if  you  hadn't 
married  her.  Husbands  are  banished  from  Helicon. 

ELLIOTT 

Come  now,  dear  fellow ;  this  is  all  very  clever  and 
amusing  for  you  and  me,  but  don't  forget  that  it 
won't  do  for  our  little  Mammy  in  there.  She  is  quite 
innocent  of  humor,  Yankee  or  transatlantic.  She  has 
been  looking  forward  to  your  return  home  for  years, 
and  when  you  arrived  from  the  steamer  yesterday 
with  Isabelle  and  little  Cynthia,  and  sprung  that 
amazing  news  that  you  had  never  been  married,  she 
was  prostrated.  She  says  little,  but  she  loves  you, 
and  she  is  very  unhappy. 

MORRIS 

Do  I  want  her  to  be  ?  But  there  you  are !  There's 
the  tyranny  of  home  life,  as  I  told  you.  Sons  must 
lie  to  their  mothers,  brothers  must  cry  "Hush"  and 
advise  dissembling ;  the  whole  house  must  smell  mouldy 
with  hypocrisy,  so  that  old  family  ghosts  shall  not  be 
offended,  and  prudish  little  mothers  shall  remain 
blindfold  and  happy.  But  what  of  the  truth?  Truth, 
sir,  is  my  religion. 

ELLIOTT 

Behold  him!  The  old  family  ghost  has  swapped 
his  peaked  hat  for  an  imperial. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  13 

MORRIS 

Oh,  shucks! 

ELLIOTT 

Bully!  "Shucks"  is  the  stuff!  You  used  to  say 
"Shucks !"  when  you'd  lost  a  sucker  in  the  mill-pond. 
Do  say  it  again. 

MORRIS 

Never,  while  I  live!  Come,  speak  out:  Do  you 
want  me  to  leave  this  house,  or  to  live  in  it  happily — 
truthfully? 

ELLIOTT 

Both.  I  want  you  to  leave  it  for  a  wedding,  and 
live  happily  in  it — as  long  after  as  possible. 

MORRIS 

That's  your  proposition;  I  refuse  it.  Now,  here 
is  mine.  You  are  my  brother.  Mildred  is  Isabelle's 
sister.  I  ask  you  and  your  wife  to  join  me  and  my 
mistress  in  a  crusade  of  emancipation;  a  crusade 
against  marriage;  a  campaign  of  Anti-Matrimony. 
Will  you? 

ELLIOTT 

Shucks,  dear  boy!  You  really  must  learn  to  say 
"Shucks"  again. 

MORRIS 

Well  and  good.  But  remember:  Since  Isabelle  and 
I  cannot  avoid  being  relatives,  you  and  the  family — 
take  the  consequences ! 


14  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

[Exit  MORRIS  out  of  doors.  ELLIOTT  starts  to  follow, 
but  pauses,  biting  the  tip  of  his  pen-holder.  The 
door,  right,  slowly  opens  again,  and  there  enters 
a  subdued,  neat  little  woman,  with  smooth  brown 
hair,  growing  white  about  the  temples.  She 
comes  forward  hesitatingly,  holding  the  fingers 
of  her  left  hand  in  her  right,  as  in  habit.  This 
posture  she  alters  occasionally,  to  stroke  pen 
sively  downward  the  front  of  her  dress.] 

MRS.    GREY 

Are  you  alone,  Elliott? 

ELLIOTT 

[Turning.] 
He's  in  the  orchard,  Mother. 

MRS.    GREY 

I  have  been  trying  to  comprehend,  Elliott,  why 
this  visitation  should  have  come  upon  us.  For  nine 
generations,  your  father's  family  and  mine  have  been 
pew-holders,  or  ministers,  right  here  in  Massachu 
setts. 

ELLIOTT 

Perhaps  that's  why,  Mother. 

MRS.    GREY 

Why— what,  Elliott? 

ELLIOTT 

Crops  need  rotating,  you  know. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  15 

MRS.    GREY 

Crops?  You  mistook  me.  I  was  speaking  of  our 
families,  your  father's  and  mine.  I  have  been  trying 
to  reconcile  it ;  to  make  it  seem  right. 

ELLIOTT 
Now,  dearest  Mammy,  no  tears. 

MRS.    GREY 

[Wiping  her  eyes  shyly.] 

I  didn't  know  that  I  was — excuse  me.  Morris  was 
always  a  peculiar  boy.  Your  father  was  peculiar,  at 
times — only  at  times.  We  used  to  say  often,  at  break 
fast,  or  walking  to  church,  or — "Morris  is  peculiar, 
but  a  nice  boy."  He  never  liked  to  wear  stiff  collars, 
but  then,  somehow — he  looked  nice  without  them. 

ELLIOTT 
I  guess  he  always  will. 

MRS.    GREY 

Will  what,  Elliott? 

ELLIOTT 

[Smiling.] 
Be  a  nice  boy. 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh,  do  you  think  he  will!  And  will  he  let  you 
marry  him  to  Isabelle  right  away?  They  needn't 
wait  for  their  trunks. 


16  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

I  was  just  talking  with  him  about  that. 

MRS.    GREY 

What  did  he  say?  I  overheard  him  using  such — 
such  unusual  expressions. 

ELLIOTT 

Whatever  he  may  say,  Motherkin,  we  must  never 
forget  that  Morris  is  a  really  nice  boy. 

MRS.    GREY 

What  should  I  do  without  you,  Elliott!  You  are 
always  so  reassuring.  And  so  is  Mildred.  She  is  an 
ideal  minister's  -wife.  She  is  so  tactful.  And  though 
she  is  quick  and  gay,  she  never  hurts  anybody's  feel 
ings.  Sometimes  I  don't  understand  her  jokes,  but 
she  is  always  ready  to  repeat  them  to  me — slowly. 
Even  when  she  dances  at  the  church  sociables,  she 
dances  so  tactfully.  You  and  she  are  so  beautifully 
matched.  I  do  wish  that  Isabelle 

ELLIOTT 
Isabelle  is  much  younger,  and  so  is  Morris. 

MRS.    GREY 

And  to  think  they  should  have  the  baby.  Poor 
little  darling!  Eleven  months,  and  it  has  never  been 
christened, 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  17 

ELLIOTT 

Hasn't  Mildred  told  you  her  plan? 

MRS.    GREY 

A  plan?  Has  Mildred  a  plan?  But,  Elliott,  how 
could  it  be  christened?  Just  Cynthia  would  never  do  ; 
and  Isabelle's  name  is  Allston.  Oh,  I  can't  seem  to 
realize  it  yet ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Putting  his  arm  about  her.'] 
There,  there!     Let's  go  and  have  a  peep  at  her. 
She  shall  be  Cynthia  Grey,  of  course. 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh  yes,  Elliott.    You  will  marry  them,  won't  you — 

before  the  neighbors  begin  to  call? 

[They  go  into  an  inner  room,  left.  After  a  pause, 
the  door,  right,  is  opened,  and  MILDRED  enters. 
She  is  dressed  in  a  simple  morning-gown,  and 
moves  lightly  across  the  room.  She  lifts  a  sew 
ing-bag  from  the  settee  and  takes  it  to  the  table, 
where  she  sits.  Behind  her  follows  ISABELLE, 
dressed  in  a  gown  of  charm,  symmetry  and  dis 
tinction.  She  pauses,  with  a  half-studied,  half- 
artless  pose  of  young-girlishness.~\ 

MILDRED 

I  left  it  on  the  settee, 


18  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Sewing  is  such  unemancipated  work.  I  should 
think  you  would  prefer  dancing,  Mildred.  You  used 
to  dance  well  to  my  fiddling. 

MILDRED 

Old  married  folks  dance  to  a  finer  fiddle,  my  dear 
Isabelle. 

[Holding  a  silk  thread  in  her  teeth,  she  pulls  it  taut 
with  her  left  hand,  while  with  her  right  she  draws  a 
knitting-needle  across  it,  humming  between  her 
lips,] 
Needles  and  pins!     Needles  and  pins! 

ISABELLE 

Just  what  I've  been  telling  you !  And  yet  you  look 
needles  and  pins  and  daggers  at  me  because  I'm  not 
silly  enough  to  follow  your  example. 

MILDEED 

Daggers  at  you ! — I  ? 

ISABELLE 

Well,  anyway,  Maurice's  mother  does — when  she 
looks  at  me  at  all. 

MILDEED 

Mother  Grey?  Why,  Mother  could  sooner  swallow 
daggers  than  look  them.  I  wouldn't  cast  Motherkin 
as  the  villainess. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  19 

ISABELLE 

[With  a  compassionate  smile.'] 
How  little  you  know  of  human  nature,  my  poor 
Mildred! 

MILDRED 

How  could  it  be  otherwise,  dear?  You  forget  my 
horizons  are  limited.  Perhaps,  now,  if  I  could  realize 
some  of  your  larger  experiences — 

ISABELLE 

That's  it.  But  how  can  you?  Here  you  are  im 
prisoned  in  a  petty  American  home,  shackled  for  life 
to  a  suburban  minister — of  all  men-creatures ! — en 
slaved  to  an  inexorable  mother-in-law,  and  com 
pelled,  by  the  pin-pricks  of  torturing  respectability, 
to  receive  at  church  sociables !  My  poor  Mildred !  I 
feel  for  you  deeply. 

MILDRED 

You  make  me  feel  for  myself,  Belle.  How  your 
vocabulary  has  improved! 

ISABELLE 

Naturally;  I  have  improved  it  by  something  bet 
ter  than  sewing.  Maurice  and  I  are  disciples  of  the 
world-literature.  I  suppose  you  don't  know  the  works 
of  the  old  Founders. 

MILDRED 

The  old  founders  ?  You  mean  of  the  United  States  ? 


20  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

My  dear,  the  United  States  lies  outside  the  pale 
of  literature.  I  refer  to  the  old  Masters  of  our  drama 
and  philosophy !  But  of  course  you  never  read  them. 

MILDRED 

Oh,  not  so  bad  as  that.  Elliott  often  reads  aloud 
Bishop  Berkeley,  and  I  read  to  him  Shakespeare 

and 

ISABELLE 

Please — please!  My  poor  sister.  Don't  tell  me 
you  are  ignorant  of  the  old  Masters — even  their 
names !  Haven't  you  ever  heard  of  Nietzsche  ? 

MILDRED 

How  do  you  spell  it,  dear? 

ISABELLE 

Great  heavens ! — Or  Ibsen  ? 

MILDRED 

[With  wicked  assumption  of  naivete. ~\ 
To  be  sure!    Wasn't  he  an  arctic-explorer? 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  you're  beyond  salvation! Do  you  know 

why  Maurice  and  I  decided  to  return  to  this  unspeak 
able  country? 

MILDRED 

Seems  to  me  Morris  mentioned — some  complication 
about  a  mortgage,  wasn't  it? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  21 

ISABELLE 

Mortgage !  O  Mildred,  how  garishly  American  you 
are !  Maurice  and  I  left  Europe  for  your  sakes.  Mau 
rice  came  back  to  save  Elliott,  and  I  to  save  you. 

MILDRED 

Dear  Belle,  I  might  have  guessed  it.  It's  so  like 
you — both. 

ISABELLE 

We  might  have  continued  to  revel  alone  in  the 
mountain  glories  of  our  emancipation.  But  no,  like 
Zarathustra,  we  decided  to  descend  and  bear  our  sun 
rise  into  the  valleys  of  convention,  and  scatter  our 
stars  among  the  cities  of  hypocrisy.  And  so,  soon 
after  the  baby  came,  we  began  to  think  of  Elliott 
and  you. 

MILDRED 

I  know,  dear.  I'm  so  sorry  they  have  the  servant 
problem  over  there  too. 

ISABELLE 

You  literal-minded  wife!  Have  you  lost  all  im 
agination?  Dear,  dear!  How  can  I  ever  thank 
Maurice  enough  for  preserving  me  from  this  wife- 
hood! 

MILDRED 

[Rising. ,] 
Hark,  dear! 


22  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

What's  the  matter? 

MILDRED 

Isn't  that  the  baby  crying? 

ISABELLE 

[With  visible  anxiety.'} 

Do  you  think  so?  I'd  better  see.  [She  hurries 
toward  the  door  left,  but  suddenly  pauses  as  she 
catches  a  glimpse  outside  of  MORRIS  looking  in  the 
door.  Her  manner  instantly  changes.']  Nonsense, 
it's  of  no  importance. 

MILDRED 

No  importance!     But  the  child — 

[MILDRED,  too,  catches  sight  of  Morris.] 

ISABELLE 

Please  change  the  subject.  My  dearest  Maurice 
has  told  me  never  to  belittle  my  mind  with  such  trifles. 

MILDRED 

What  model  obedience ! 

ISABELLE 

It's  instinctive.  As  my  Maurice  has  so  eloquently 
expressed  it  in  one  of  his  most  convincing  sonnets  to 
me, 

"Where  law  lays  no  compulsion  love  obeys." 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  23 

MILDRED 

I  congratulate  your  husband! 

MORRIS 

Please ! — don't  insult  your  sister.     She  has  no  hus 
band. 

ISABELLE 
[Turning.] 
Why,  Maurice!    How  you  surprised  me! 

MILDRED 

How  you  surprised  us — both'. 

MORRIS 

[Snubbing  MILDRED,  speaks  to  ISABELLE.] 
I  am  happy,  love,  to  surprise  you  in  thoughts  of 

me.     I'll  be  back  in  a  moment. 

[Throwing  a  kiss,  which  she  returns,  he  disappears 
toward  the  orchard.  ISABELLE  then  goes  quickly 
to  the  door  left,  listens,  opens  it  a  crack,  looks 
in  longingly,  but  closes  it  again  slowly.'] 

ISABELLE 

She's  in  her  crib — the  darling !    Her  grandmother 
is  looking  at  her. 

MILDRED 

Looking  daggers? 


24  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Draws  herself  up  haughtily.'] 

Mildred,  you  heard  just  now  how  nobly  Maurice 
rescued  me  from  your  insult.  But  you  have  not  yet 
retracted  it. 

MILDRED 

My  dear,  now  you're  silly. 

ISABELLE 

You  referred  to  him  as  my  husband. 

MILDRED 

And  I  shall  advise  him  to  confirm  the  reference. 

ISABELLE 

[Wildly.] 

But  how  dare  you!  I  never  said  he  was  my  hus 
band. 

MILDRED 

I  trust  you  will  say  so  before  night. 

ISABELLE 

Then  how — how  could  you — when  I  never  said  it 
— how  could  you  ever  suppose  such  a  thing! 

MILDRED 

I'm  not  supposing  it ;  I'm  just  arranging  it. 

ISABELLE 

[Gasping.] 
Oh,  I  thought 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  25 

MILDRED 

It's  so  simple,  you  see,  having  a  minister  and  jus 
tice  of  the  peace  right  in  the  family. 

ISABELLE 

Elliott,  you  mean !  I  see ;  you  are  plotting  to  get 
your  jailer  to  put  me  in  irons  too.  I  hold  out  my 
arms  to  emancipate  you,  and  you  would  clap  hand 
cuffs  on  me.  Never!  My  lover  and  I  are  free.  I 
am  Maurice's  mistress;  I  rejoice,  I  revel,  to  declare  it. 

MILDRED 
Belle,  don't  be  shocking. 

ISABELLE 

Shocking !  Ha,  at  last !  I  have  looked  forward  to 
this  moment  for  years. 

MILDRED 

Please  look  back  on  it,  as  quickly  as  possible. 

ISABELLE 

I  had  faith,  and  my  faith  has  borne  fruit.  I  be- 
lieved  you  would  call  me  "shocking."  [MILDRED 
hides  her  face.~\  Now  I  know  I  am  great.  Yes,  I 
can  say  it  simply,  proudly.  [Observing  MILDRED, 
who  rises  and  turns  away  to  stifle  her  laughter.']  Oh, 
turn  away  from  me.  Spurn  me.  Leave  me!  You 
laugh!  You  deride  me,  of  course.  I  am  your  fallen 
sister,  cast  off,  held  up  to  pitiless  mockery,  in  the 
rack  of  convention.  Oh,  how  history  repeats  itself! 


26  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[Straightening  her  face.] 
Never,  Isabelle!     I  defy  history  to  reproduce  you. 

ISABELLE 

That's  because  you  know  nothing  of  history  or  life 
or  experience.  Do  not  imagine  we  are  created  unique 
— sweet  as  it  would  be  to  think  so !  We  are  all  links 
in  a  sublime  evolution.  All  the  great  of  our  sex  have 
been  shocking — from  Cleopatra  to  Candida. 

MILDRED 

[Raising  her  hands,  turns  away  m  laughter."} 
Sisterkin !     Sisterkin ! 

ISABELLE 

Yes,  even  so  they  were  cried  out  upon !  Has  Time 
forgotten  the  ignoble  persecution  of  Magda?  When 
she  strove  to  lift  up  the  petty  souls  of  her  relatives 
into  the  lofty  plain  of  her  own  individuality — what 
was  her  reward?  History  has  recorded!  And  glori 
ous  Rebecca — divine  Rebecca  West ! 

MILDRED 

What  did  she  do?    Please  tell  me. 

ISABELLE 

How  could  you  understand?  She  was  not  the  dupe 
of  matrimonial  ghosts.  She  shocked  the  world  and 
taught  her  lover  to  shock  it.  Together  they  obeyed 
the  call  of  their  supersouls,  and  she  leaned  on  her 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  27 

lover's  heart  as  they  went  forth  to  the  mill-race. 
[Melodramatically.]  O  my  Mildred,  must  I  also  be 
driven  to  the  dark  waters? 

MILDRED 

Don't,  dear ;  don't ! 

ISABELLE 

Yes,  they  alone  who  shock  the  world  shall  save  it. 
The  lives  of  supermen  "await  alike  the  inevitable 
hour." 

MILDRED 

You  have  humbled  me,  Belle.    Teach  me  some  more. 

ISABELLE 

Ah,   my  sister;  if  you  could  indeed  learn   from 

MILDRED 

But  I  AM  learning.     I'm  taking  notes. 

ISABELLE 

You  would  learn  that  I  a'm  only  the  last  of  a  great 
line  of  female  emancipators.  I  could  tell  you  of  Nora 
Halsted  and  Ann  Whitefield  and  Rautendelein — 
they're  all  in  Maurice's  dress-suit  case. 

MILDRED 

Oh,  where  is  it? 


28  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Upstairs,  in  his  room,  by  the  washstand.  He  al 
ways  keeps  them  for  reference,  in  his  playwriting. 
Magda  hasn't  arrived  yet ;  she's  in  my  steamer  trunk. 

MILDRED 

Mayn't  I  go  and  fetch  some  of  them  down? 

ISABELLE 

You?  You,  a  married  woman,  invade  the  sanctu 
aries  of  the  Masters !  No,  7  guard  the  key  of  the 
suit-case. 

MILDRED 

Do  you  mean  I  mayn't  even  set  eyes  on  them? 

ISABELLE 

Not  while  you  continue  to  live  in  your  indelicate 
bondage  with  Elliott. 

MILDRED 

I  suppose,  then,  I  am  never  to  tread  those  sacred 
precincts  of  his  harem. 

ISABELLE 

His  harem!     What  are  you  talking  about? 

MILDRED 

Your  rivals — Ann,  Rebecca  and  the  rest — whom 
you  keep  shut  so  fast  in  the  sacred  suit-case. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  29 

ISABELLE 

How  indecorously  your  married  mind  interprets  us ! 
I  have  no  rivals,  my  dear ;  I  can  never  have  any. 
Those  immortal  women  are  all  embodied  in  me.  That 
is  why  Maurice  loves  me ;  that  is  why  J  lure  onward 
and  upward  the  soul  of  Maurice — his  ewig  weibliche. 
I'm  an  incarnation.  Can't  you  understand? 

MILDRED 

I  think  I'm  beginning  to,  dear.  I  was  just  won 
dering — suppose  he  should  meet  another  one. 

ISABELLE 

Another  what  ? 

MILDRED 

Another  incarnation. 

ISABELLE 

But  how  could  he  while  I  live  ?  Well,  here  I  am ! 
Don't  you  see? 

MILDRED 

Oh! — why,  yes.  How  stupid  of  me!  But  what — 
what  if  you  should  meet  another  one? 

ISABELLE 

That's  different,  of  course;  7  might.  For,  you 
see,  7  am  the  incarnation ;  not  Maurice.  I  lead  him 
upward,  and  he  follows.  Do  you  follow  me? 

MILDRED 

Yes,  I  follow  ;  he  follows — what  follows  then  ? 


30  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Don't  be  facetious.  Put  down  your  sewing.  You 
said  you  wished  to  learn.  You  can't  expect  to  under 
stand  deep  things  without  concentration. 

MILDRED 

Please ;  I'll  be  good. 

ISABELLE 

Well,  then — to  make  it  clearer — when  I  lead  on 
ward  and  upward,  just  supposing  he  shouldn't  fol 
low 

MILDRED 

[Shutting  her  eyes.~\ 
Bing ! Poor  Morris ! 

ISABELLE 

Yes;  you  see,  then,  how  awful  it  would  be  if  we 
were  tied  together  for  life  by  the  chains  of  conven 
tion. 

MILDRED 

Do  you  suppose  it  would  be  suicide,  or  simply 
murder? 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  of  course,  we're  not  supposing.  As  a  matter 
of  fact,  I  need  never  dread  that  Maurice  will  bring 
such  suffering  upon  himself,  because — well,  to  speak 
frankly,  because  I  know  the  unlimited  influence  for 
his  own  good  which  I  exert  over  him. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  31 

MILDRED 

My  little  sister,  you  have  matured  wonderfully  in 
womanhood.  I  confess  that  all  you  have  said  sets  me 
thinking. 

ISABELLE 

Please,  then,  dear,  apply  it  to  your  own  slavish 
and  unhappy  circumstances.  If  you  love  Elliott  as 
I  love  Maurice,  emancipate  yourself  and  him  and  con 
secrate  yourselves,  like  Maurice  and  me,  to  the  cause 
of  Anti-Matrimony. 

MILDRED 

Do  you  mean  I  should  apply  for  a  divorce? 

ISABELLE 

Heaven  forbid!  Nothing  is  more  bourgeois  and 
American.  No;  just  confess  your  undying  abhor 
rence  of  the  marriage  state,  study  the  Masters,  and 
make  it  your  mission  to  shock  people,  with  the  utmost 
consideration  and  good  breeding. 

[Enter  MORRIS,  carrying  sprays  of  apple-blossom.'] 

MORRIS 
My  beloved! 

ISABELLE 

My  adored!    How  long  you  have  stayed  away! 

MORRIS 

I  have  been  searching  for  a  token  of  our  love,  and 
I  have  brought  you  these. 


32  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Taking  them.'} 
Apple-blossoms  !     How  perfectly  sweet ! 

MORRIS 

And  mystical,  dear,  as  they  are  sweet.  I  stood  be 
neath  the  orchard  boughs  and  watched  the  pollen- 
dusted  bees  singing  from  flower  to  flower ;  each  bough 
was  a  little  commonwealth  of  natural  lovers. 

ISABELLE 

[Sighing.] 

A  little  commonwealth  of  natural  lovers ! 

MORRIS 

Each  delicate  bloom  yielded  its  flushing  soul  to  its 
ardent  wooer.  All  was  harmonious  love  and  lyric  rap 
ture.  Here,  I  thought,  is  the  Garden  of  Anti-Matri 
mony.  I  will  pluck  of  these  blooms  and  bring  them 
to  my  beloved. 

ISABELLE 

Your  beloved  accepts  them  as  a  perfect  symbol. 

MORRIS 

Wear  them  as  your  garland  of  innocence  and  free 
love. 

MILDRED 

[Commg  between  them  from  behind,  takes  the  apple- 
blossoms.'] 
May  /  not  share  in  this  symbol? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  33 

ISABELLE 

[With  wide  eyes.~\ 
Mildred,  how  gross  of  you! 

MORRIS 

[To    ISABELLE.] 

Have  you  made  no  headway  in  converting  her  to 
our  cause? 

ISABELLE 

I'm  sure  I  don't  know.  When  I  think  that  I  have 
succeeded  in  awakening  her  soul  just  a  little — she 
makes  some  terrible  remark  like  that. 

MORRIS 

I  think,  love,  she  may  not  have  understood  us. 
[Glancing  at  Mildred,  who  has  resumed  her  needle 
work  with  sudden  fervor.]  She  seems  absorbed  in  her 
sewing. 

ISABELLE 

That's  just  it.  Her  instincts  are  so  abjectly  mat 
rimonial. 

MORRIS 

[To  MILDRED.] 
May  I  ask,  is  that  embroidery? 

MILDRED 

Do  you  think  it  pretty?     It's  for  Cynthia. 

MORRIS 

For  Cynthia ! 


34?  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Yes;  I'm  just  finishing  it  for  to-morrow's  cere 
mony. 

ISABELLE 

What  ceremony? 

MILDRED 

Haven't  you  heard?    Why,  the  christening. 

MORRIS  AND  ISABELLE 

The  christening ! 

MILDRED 

Yes ;  Elliott  and  I  thought  it  would  be  so  nice  to 
have  it  performed  just  after  the  wedding — right  in 
the  home  circle,  you  know. 

MORRIS 

[To  ISABELLE.] 
What  is  the  meaning  of  this? 

ISABELLE 

I  suppose  this  is  a  sample  of  her  American  humor. 

MILDRED 

[Showing  the  embroidery.^ 

See;  it's  a  baby  chasuble.  It  slips  over  the  short 
dress,  and  her  head  goes  through  here.  The  little  new 
moons  are  for  Cynthia,  and  the  pussy-willow  buds  are 
for  Grey. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY     .  35 

MORRIS 

Grey?  Not  if  7  know  it!  "Cynthia"  all  you 
please,  but  "Grey" — never!  No  child  of  mine  shall 
be  suspected  of  legitimacy. 

MILDRED 

Why,  Morris 

MORRIS 

No!  My  daughter  is  a  waif,  a  foundling — thank 
God! 

MILDRED 

Isn't  she  to  have  any  last  name? 

MORRIS 
That's  the  state's  business;  not  mine. 

MILDRED 

Oh!  are  you  going  to  hand  her  over  to  the  state 
authorities  ? 

MORRIS 

Why  not?  They  can  name  her  what  they  please; 
anything  but  "Grey." 

MILDRED 

\Pensvuely  J\ 

Massachusetts,  Rhode  Island,  Connecticut;  which 
do  you  prefer,  Isabelle?  Cynthia,  Mass.? 

ISABELLE 

I  never  prefer ;  I  ask  Maurice.  One  doesn't  argue 
with  Maurice ;  one  learns  from  him. 


36  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Children  in  arms  are  a  menace  to  a  free  republic. 
They  are  the  natural  enemies  of  individual  freedom. 
Therefore,  it  is  the  first  function  of  a  civilized  state 
to  provide  a  national  defence  of  nursing-laboratories 
and  to  levy  a  tax  on  all  celibate  citizens  for  their 
maintenance. 

MILDRED 

You  mean  that  the  bachelors  and  old  maids  should 
support  all  the  babies?  But  wouldn't  that  tend  to 
encourage  matrimony? 

MORRIS 

No ;  for  the  state  should  compel  all  legitimate  issue 
to  be  reared  at  home.  The  servant  problem  then 
would  do  the  rest,  and  the  matrimonial  race  would 
cease  to  survive. 

MILDRED 

I  see.     Your  state  would  encourage  race-suicide. 

MORRIS 

Not  in  the  least.  The  child-bearing  population, 
you  see,  would  be  divided  into  two  classes :  Mats  and 
Anti-Mats.  But,  of  course,  the  Anti-Mats,  being  ex 
empt  from  both  nurses  and  taxes,  would  be  doubly 
encouraged  to  provide  the  needful  population. 

ISABELLE 

Now,  Mildred,  I  trust  you  see  the  hopelessness  of 
arguing  with  Maurice. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  37 

MILDRED 

Oh,  I  do.  And  so,  my  dear  sister  and  brother,  I 
propose  that  we  just  stop  playing  this  lively  little 
game  of  word-tennis  and  take  hold  of  hands  like  good 
children,  and  go  in  and  give  a  kiss  to  our  nice  old 
Mammy,  and  tell  her  to  get  ready  for  the  wedding. 

MORRIS 

[Beside  himself. ~\ 

Wedding,  again!  You  and  Elliott  amaze  me. 
Haven't  I  told  you  twenty  times  we're  not  married 
and  never  will  be ! 

MILDRED 

Yes,  my  dear  boy;  but  fortunately  since  you  ar 
rived  last  night  only  the  family  have  heard  your  re 
marks.  So,  since  it's  only  a  matter  of  becoming  my 

brother-in-law 

MORRIS 

In-law!  Isabelle,  to  think  of  having  IN-LAW 
branded  on  our  souls ! 

MILDRED 

Come,  dears,  we  must  really  be  practical.  Elliott 
can  sign  your  papers  and  bless  you  in  a  jiffy.  Or  if 
you  want  to  wait  a  little,  and  meantime  call  your 
selves  Mr.  and  Mrs. 

MORRIS 

Call  ourselves !  Mildred,  I  thought  better  of  you. 
Do  you  wish  us  to  be  guilty  of  a  lie — a  living  lie  of 
love  ? 


38  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

I  am  quite  serious.  Your  mother  is  getting  old. 
The  scandal  would  break  her  heart  and  her  health. 
Please!  Won't  you  be  good  for  your  mother's  sake? 


MORRIS 


Yes ;  I  will  be  good  for  my  mother's  sake.  I  will 
consider  her  weakness,  and  be  unmoved  by  it — for  her 
sake.  Mothers  have  been  weak  before  mine.  In  war, 
mothers  have  begged  their  sons  to  desert  the  cause — 
for  their  sakes ;  and  afterwards  they  have  blessed 
those  sons  for  refusing  to  desert — for  their  sakes. 
Do  you  imagine,  then,  that  I  will  betray  my  cause  in 

the  state — my  battle — my 

[The  door,   left,   opens   and  MRS.   GREY  enters,   in 
alarm.] 

MRS.    GREY 

Mildred!  Come  quickly.  I  think  the  baby  has 
swallowed  a  safety-pin. 

ISABELLE 

Oh! 

'[Agitated,  she  starts  to  leave,  but  stops,  glancing  at 
MORRIS,  who  has  also  started,  but  checks  himself 
abruptly] 

MILDRED 

Don't  worry,  mother.  The  state  will  remove  it. 
Ask  Morris. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  39 

MRS.    GREY 

State,  my  dear ! 

MILDRED 

What  do  you  say,  Isabelle? 

ISABELLE 

[Looking  toward  MORRIS,  but  by  her  gestures  anx 
iously  urging  MILDRED  toward  the  door.'] 
I  am  listening  to  Maurice.     I'm  sure  you  are  quite 
competent  to  deal  with  these  petty  concerns  of  diges 
tion. 

MILDRED 

[Following  MRS.  GREY  out.~\ 

All  right,  mother.     I  will  assist  at  the  state  cere 
mony. 

[Exeunt.  ISABELLE,  after  watching'  the  door  close, 
turns  slowly  to  MORRIS,  who  stands  gloomily  ex 
alted  and  absorbed.] 

ISABELLE 

Beloved — we  are  alone. 

MORRIS 
[Starting.] 

At  last!      [They  approach  each  other  from  op 
posite  sides  of  the  room.] 

ISABELLE 

My  superman! 

MORRIS 
My  oversoul! 


40  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

My  Zarathustra ! 

MORRIS 
My  Heloise! 

ISABEI/LE 

My  Master  Builder! 

MORRIS 

My  Rebekka  West ! 

[They  embrace.] 

ISABELLE 

I  will  stand  beside  you  in  the  pillory  of  public 
scorn;  husbands  and  wives  shall  point,  and  name  us 
a  hated  name ;  yet  will  I  smile  and  say,  Lo !  I  am  glad 
and  unashamed. 

MORRIS 

Our  love  shall  lift  us  above  the  clouds ;  the  princes 
of  the  world  shall  bow  down  to  us  in  their  hearts ;  but 
behold,  the  slave  and  the  fool  and  the  hypocrite  shall 
cry,  "Unclean!  unclean!" 

ISABELLE 

We  will  go  forth  alone  into  the  deserts  and  the  si 
lent  places.  There  we  will  supply  to  the  world  de 
tailed  information  of  our  solitary  days. 

MORRIS 

Decadence,  ribaldry,  scandal,  can  never  wrong  us, 
my  beloved ;  for  they  shall  all  be  transmuted  to  mate 
rial  for  my  latest  play. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  41 

ISABELLE 

My  modern  mystic! 

MORRIS 

My  immortal  Bashkirtseff ! 

[He  leads  her  to  the  open  door,  at  back.  Meantime, 
the  door,  left,  reopens  and  MILDRED  enters.] 

MILDRED 

It  was  a  safety-pin,  my  dears,  so  she  didn't  swal 
low  it. 

[MILDRED  looks  toward  MORRIS  and  ISABELLE,  who 
manifestly  have  not  heard  her,  where  they  stand 
— their  arms  about  each  other — facing  the  or 
chard.  Taking  in  the  situation,  MILDRED  hur 
ries  tip-toe  across  to  the  foot  of  the  stairs,  which 
she  climbs,  very  quietly,  to  the  landing,  pausing 
once  or  twice  to  glance  toward  the  two  lovers, 
who  remain  oblivious  of  her  entrance. ,] 

MORRIS 

Hark  to  the  golden  ritual  of  the  bees;  they  are 
chanting  hymns  to  their  Utopia.  How  did  you  like 
my  symbol? 

ISABELLE 

[Spying  on  the  table  the  baby -chasuble,  lifts  it,  un 
seen  of  MORRIS.] 
Beautiful! 

MORRIS 

You're  not  wearing  the  apple-blossoms. 


42  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Quickly  dropping  the  baby  dress,  picks  up  the  apple 

sprays  from  the  tabled} 

They  would  fade,  dearest.     I'll  put  them  in  water. 
[She  takes  them  to  the  vase  by  the  newel-post.] 

MORRIS 

{Watching  her.~\ 
Keep  your  face  so — against  them. 

ISABELLE 

[Smiling.] 
Are  they  so  becoming  to  me? 

MORRIS 

You — to  them.  Ah,  my  living  goddess,  I  am  afraid 
I  did  wrong  to  bring  you  back  to  this  old  house  of 
phantoms. 

ISABELLE 

Don't  be  blue. 

MORRIS 

I  have  reasons.  I  have  wrestled  with  my  brother, 
to  save  him.  It's  hopeless.  How  did  you  succeed 
with  your  sister? 

ISABELLE 

No  better,  I'm  afraid.  She  lacks  the  tragic  spirit ; 
they  all  do  here  in  America.  I've  quoted  the  Masters 
— I've  quoted  you — I've  told  her  about  everything, 
except  our  marriage.  Do  you  think  I  ought  to  men 
tion  it — confidentially  ? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  43 

MORRIS 

Mention  it !  Great  God,  haven't  I  told  you  to  for 
get  it? 

ISABELLE 

Certainly,  dear.  But  I  thought  perhaps  if  I  just 
mentioned  how  we  were  married  for  form's  sake  in 
Vienna,  but  how  of  course  that  can  never  affect  our 

ideals 

MORRIS 

{In  a  great  voice.'} 
Isabelle ! 

[Above  on  the  landing  MILDRED  beckons;  ELLIOTT  en 
ters  there  from  off  right;  MILDRED  motions  si 
lence  to  him,  while  they  listen,  with  pantomime, 
which  indicates  their  huge  enjoyment  of  what 
they  hear.} 

ISABELLE 

Please  don't  get  excited.  I  say — for  argument — 
to  convince  Mildred — I  don't  see  why  the  mere  fact 
of  a  marriage  certificate —  Really,  7  feel  that  it 
makes  our  position  stronger.  Don't  you? 

MORRIS 

Are  you  mad?  Didn't  you  burn  our  marriage  cer 
tificate  in  Berlin? 

ISABELLE 

Of  course,  dear.  But  I  suppose  there  is  some  rec 
ord  in  the  German  archives. 


44  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Buried!  It  shall  lie  buried  in  that  heathen  lan 
guage  forever. 

ISABEI/LE 

Dearest,  you  forget.  It's  the  language  of 
Nietzsche. 

MORRIS 

Don't  interrupt.  I  say  that  no  one — no  one  must 
ever  learn  of  our  marriage.  It  was  a  weak  and  bar 
barous  act.  I  committed  it  in  a  prosaic  moment — as 
a  concession  to  you. 

ISABEKLE 

O  Maurice !  You  know  I  conceded  it  for  your  sake, 
so  as  not  to  complicate  your  career. 

MORRIS 

My  career!  Don't  you  realize  I  can  never  have  a 
career  if  this  is  known  ? 

ISABELLE 

But,  dearest 

MORRIS 

Silence !  Let  me  tell  you  this :  the  moment  you  ever 
mention  our  marriage — that  moment  is  the  end  of  our 
love ;  that  moment  is  the  knell  of  our  joy ;  in  that  mo 
ment  I  will  repudiate  you — deny  you  and  that  wretched 
bondage ;  from  that  moment  I  will  continue  my  career 
alone. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  45 

ISABELLE 

Thirty-seven !  This  is  the  thirty-seventh  time  we've 
had  this  argument,  and  you  always  win  out,  my  be 
loved.  You  are  always  reasonable  and  always  right. 
So,  please  forgive  me,  and  give  me  a  kiss. 

MORRIS 

It's  terrible.  You  see  how  the  mere  thought  of 
matrimony  degrades  us,  and  makes  us  wrangle  like 
wretched  husbands  and  wives. 

ISABELLE 

Come,  we'll  forget  it. 

MORRIS 

You  promise  me — never  to  refer  to  it  again  ? 

ISABELLE 

Never,  never  again — so  long  as  you  love  me! 

MORRIS 

[Kissing  her.'] 

My  guiding  star!  After  all,  man  is  the  reasoner. 
And  now,  my  own,  we  will  press  onward  in  our  cam 
paign  together,  shall  we? 

ISABELLE 

I  will  lead  you,  love — wherever  you  decide. 


46  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

This,  then,  is  the  plan.  We  will  try  to  capture  this 
household,  but  by  a  different  attack.  You  will  ap 
proach  Elliott,  and  I  will  approach  Mildred.  You 
will  emancipate  the  male  and  I  the  female.  This  plan 
is  psychologically  correct ;  I  believe  it  will  succeed. 

ISABELLE 

Just  as  you  wish,  dear.  I  have  hopes  of  Elliott, 
but  Mildred — you  will  find  Mildred  incorrigibly  con 
ventional.  Where  are  you  going? 

MORRIS 

To  find  them.  Come — I  cannot  quite  agree  with 
you,  my  love,  in  regard  to  Mildred.  I  believe  that 
Mildred's  soul  is  sufficiently  mystical  to  be  saved,  and 

I  really  think 

[Exeunt.     The  door  closes.    Bursting  Into  laughter, 
MILDRED  and  ELLIOTT  come  down  the  stalrs.~\ 

MILDRED 

Aren't  they  heavenly? 

ELLIOTT 

But  we  were  fiends  to  listen. 

MILDRED 

Dear  unsuspecting  cherubs ! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  47 

ELLIOTT 

It's  on  my  conscience. 

MILDRED 

It's  not  on  mine.  Married !  "O  living  lie  of  love !" 
Rev.  Elliott  Grey,  this  is  the  opportunity  of  our  lives. 

ELLIOTT 

What  must  we  do? 

MILDRED 

Be  saved,  of  course.     Be  converted. 

ELLIOTT 

Converted? 

MILDRED 

To  Anti-Matrimony. 

ELLIOTT 

Mrs.  Reverend  Elliott — you're  the  limit.  Do  you 
intend 

MILDRED 

Certainly.  I  intend  to  administer  some  anti-matri 
monial  toxin.  These  poor  babes  have  got  lost  in  the 
misty  continental  woods  and  fetched  home  the  latest 
imported  influenza.  It's  called  the  tragicus  mysticis- 
mus  morbiditi.  "Mystics,"  for  short. 

ELLIOTT 

My  dear,  you  should  hang  out  a  shingle. 


48  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You  see,  the  nice  old  foreign  folks  thrive  on  it ;  it's 
just  a  pleasant  after-dinner  pinch  of  snuff  to  them. 
But  when  our  young  Yankees  catch  it,  it's  like  a  sud 
den  pneumonia  to  their  native  humor,  which  very  sel 
dom  survives.  So,  I  say,  we  must  be  up  and  doing 
for  these  two  poor  lambs;  we  must  nurse  them  back 
to  the  Yankee  fold. 

ELLIOTT 

Very  good.  How  shall  we  give  them  the  anti-toxin  ? 

MILDRED 

Leave  that  to  me.  It's  a  delicate  task,  and  needs 
gradual  doses. 

ELLIOTT 

But  don't  you  think  we'd  better  just  tell  them  how 
we  overheard 

MILDRED 

O  you  blunder  beetle !  How  do  you  suppose  Mor 
ris  would  take  that? 

ELLIOTT 

Like  a  man.    Keep  his  head,  and  lump  it. 

MILDRED 

The  lump,  my  dear,  would  be  on  your  manly  head. 
I  can  see  Morris  lumping  it.  I  can  see  your  dear 
mother  watching  and  hearing  him  lump  it.  I  can  see 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  49 

the  whole  Grey  family,  and  the  families  of  the  Reverend 
Grey's  whole  parish,  listening  and  louting  low  to  the 
lumping  of  Morris !  No,  goodman  Elliott,  your  grey 
matter  doesn't  absorb  the  full  fun  of  our  situation. 
It's  more  serious  than  you  think. 

ELLIOTT 

Than  7  think?  That's  a  good  one!  I  think  it's 
mighty  serious — especially  for  mother.  Do  you  think 
Morris  would  really  do  as  he  said,  and  deny  his  mar 
riage  with  Isabelle  to  our  faces? 

MILDRED 

I'm  sure  of  it.  They  both  would.  And  to  get 
proofs  of  their  marriage  from  Germany  would  be 
very  impracticable.  No;  we've  got  to  get  them  to 
own  up  of  themselves.  What's  more — we've  got  to 
get  them  to  own  up  before  they  start  to  convert  the 
United  States. 

ELLIOTT 

I  see.  We  must  give  their  campaign  a  big  send-off 
here  at  home ;  is  that  it  ? 

MILDRED 

Precisely.  Henceforth,  O  domestic  tyrant,  the 
mystic  sword  of  Anti-Matrimony  must  divide  our 
bosoms ! 

ELLIOTT 

Good!    Me  for  "the  mystics." 


50  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You  for  the  Mats,  and  I  for  the  Antis ! 

ELLIOTT 

By  the  way,  are  we  to  be  undomesticated  simul 
taneously,  or  one  at  a  time? 

MILDRED 

As  to  that,  I  must  ask  you  to  keep  in  close  touch 
with  me.  I'll  signal  when  I  want  trumps.  Here  they 
come.  Now,  then;  play  the  game,  and  remember, 
Divided  we  stand! 

ELLIOTT 

United  we  fall! 

[Enter  MORRIS  and  ISABELLE,  at  back.] 

MORRIS 

[To  ISABELLE.] 

Here  they  are.  Don't  forget,  you  are  to  capture 
Elliott.  Courage,  now,  for  the  cause. 

ISABELLE 

My  misgivings  are  all  for  you,  love. 

ELLIOTT 

[To  MILDRED,  who  has  sunk  upon  the  settee,  staring 

ahead  of  her.'} 
What's  up  now?    Are  you  ill? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  51 

MILDRED 

[Just  audibly,  motioning  him  away.] 
Influenza !    Catching ! 

ELLIOTT 

Oh! 

[He  crosses  to  the  table.  In  the  background,  MORRIS 
— a  Napoleon  overseeing  his  campaign — directs 
ISABELLE,  who  goes  to  the  bottom  step  of  the 
stairs,  gracefully  and  deliberately  unties  the  bows 
of  her  shoe-lacings,  then  approaches  ELLIOTT 
with  ingratiating  smile.'} 

ISABELLE 

Dear  Elliott,  will  you  be  so  kind  as  to  tie  my  shoe 
lace?  It's  come  undone. 

ELLIOTT 

[Momentarily  abashed,  scrambles  to  do  so.] 
Charmed ! 

[MORRIS,    meantime,    approaching    MILDRED,    starts 
visibly  at  her  altered  expression.] 

MORRIS 

[Solicitously.'} 

Are  you  ill,  Mildred?  May  I  be  of  any  service  to 
you?  [MILDRED  continues  to  stare  ahead  of  her,  as 
in  painful  reverie.}  Good  heavens,  I'm  afraid  you 
are.  Perhaps  it  might — I  have  been  thinking 


52  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[In  hollow  tone.'} 
I,  too ! 

MOREIS 

I  beg  pardon. 

MILDRED 

[Slowly.] 

I,  too,  have  been  thinking.     [Intense,  she  looks  up 
at  him.] 

ISABELLE 

[To  ELLIOTT,  changing  her  •foot.'] 
The  other,  please. 

ELLIOTT 

[Tying  the  lace.] 
Delighted! 

MILDRED 

Your  words  have  been  ringing  through  my  soul: 
"A  lie!    A  living  lie!" 

MORRIS 

[Startled.] 
Mildred! 

MILDRED 

[Rising.] 

Maurice!     You  have  come  at  an  awful  moment  in 
my  life. 

MORRIS 
In  your  life ! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  53 

MILDRED 

Will  you — will  you  lead  me  to  the  orchard? 
[Compelling  him  before  her  by  look  and  gesture,  she 
passes   toward  the  outer  door,  while  ISABELLE 
slowly  turns,  watching  aghast,  and  ELLIOTT  on 
his  knees  peeps  round  her  skirts.] 

MORRIS 
[Bewildered.'} 
Lead  you  to  the 

MILDRED 

Out  there  under  the  apple-bloom.  Teach  me,  Mau 
rice  !     Teach  me  the  mystic  symbol  of  the  bees. 

[Taking  the  apple  sprays  from  the  vase,  she  pauses 
an  instant  on  the  door  sill.] 

ELLIOTT 

[  Open-mouthed.  ] 
Well,  I'll  be 

ISABELLE 

So  will  I! 

MILDRED 

"A  little  commonwealth  of  natural  lovers." 
[Extending  one  hand  to  MORRIS,  she  buries  her  face 
in  the  apple-bloom.     They  go.     ISABELLE  starts 
to  follow.    ELLIOTT,  still  on  his  knees,  holds  ab 
sent-mindedly  the  shoe-lace  he  was  tying.] 


54.  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABEKLE 

[Tartly.] 

Leave  go!    Leave  go! 

[MILDRED  and  MORRIS  disappear  in  the  orchard.'] 
CURTAIN. 


ACT   II 


ACT  II 

Late  Afternoon. 

[Mus.  GREY  stands  in  the  middle  of  the  room  listen 
ing-] 

MRS.  GREY 

Who  spoke? 

A  VOICE 

[After  a  pause.] 
Have  the  trunks  come? 

MRS.    GREY 

[Nervously.] 
Why,  I  think — would  you  mind  saying  where  you 

are? 

[MRS.  GREY  goes  to  the  door  left,  opens  it  and  stands 
flustered.  Meantime  the  curtains  of  the  stair 
landing  are  opened  and  ISABELLE  puts  her  head 
out.~\ 

ISABEKLE 

[Snappishly.] 
I  should  think  you  could  hear. 

MRS.  GREY 

Oh,  it's  you,  Isabelle. 

57 


58  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Yes,  it's  I.     Will  you  please  have  the  trunks  sent 
up? 

MRS.  GREY 

My  dear,  they  haven't  arrived  from  the  steamship 
yet. 

ISABELLE 

How  exasperating!     Well,  then,  bring  back  my 
gown,  please.     I  have  nothing  else  to  wear. 

MRS.    GREY 

But,  my  dear 

ISABELLE 

Don't  wait  to  sponge  it. 

MRS.    GREY 

But,  my  dear,  it  isn't  being  sponged.     It's  being 
washed. 

ISABELLE 

Washed! 

MRS.    GREY 

Yes ;  Mildred  said  you  wanted  it  put  in  the  tub. 

ISABELLE 

[Shitty.] 

Tub! 

[She  disappears.] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  59 

MRS.    GREY 

[Going  up  the  stairs.] 

It  may  be — perhaps  I  misunderstood  Mildred — she 
told  me  she  would  explain  later. 

ISABELLE 

[Coming   out   on  the  landing  in   a  dressing-gown, 

speaks,  on  the  point  of  tears.'] 
Do  you  mean  to  say —     Why,  it's  ruined,  then, 
ruined !     In  the  tub ! 

MRS.    GREY 

I  thought  it  rather  peculiar.  But  of  course  you 
and  Morris  are  peculiar,  my  dear. 

ISABELLE 

And  I've  no  other  dress  with  me. 

MRS.    GREY 

Don't  worry.     Mildred  has  some  pretty  dresses. 

ISABEKLE 

Mildred's — for  me! 

MRS.    GREY 

Just  come  with  me  to  her  room.  She  has  laid  out 
for  you  a  pretty  brown  dress.  Or  perhaps  you  would 
prefer  one  of  mine. 

ISABEIXE 
Yours  ?     Horrors ! 

[They  disappear  along  the  landing,  left.] 


60  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

[Enter,  from  out  of  doors,  MORRIS  and  MILDRED. 
MILDRED  is  dressed  in  a  beautiful  flowing  gown 
of  old  rose,  and  wears  apple-blossoms  in  her  hair, 
which  she  has  arranged  in  a  graceful  mediceval 
style,  differing  from  its  simple  arrangement  in 
Act  First.] 

MILDRED 

Please  go  on.     It  is  fascinating. 

MORRIS 

I  haven't  actually  written  the  play,  you  know,  but 
perhaps  you  would  like  to  get  some  idea  of  the  plot 
and  symbolism. 

MILDRED 

Oh,  please,  yes.     What  do  you  call  it? 

MORRIS 

The  play?  Well,  I  haven't  quite  decided.  I've 
thought  of  several  titles :  "Spectres,"  "The  Passionate 
Puritan,"  "Hosmer's  Home ;  or,  the  Love  of  the  Bee." 
Which  do  you  like  best? 

MILDRED 

Oh,  I  think  "The  Love  of  the  Bee"  is  most  beau 
tiful. 

[MILDRED  reclines,  with  studied  cestheticism,  on  the 
cushions  of  the  settee;  MORRIS  stands  beside  her.~\ 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  61 

MORRIS 

Do  you?  So  do  I.  Well,  as  I  said,  the  hero, 
Hosmer,  is  an  artist-philosopher;  a  superman,  born 
with  all  the  tragic  advantages  of  genius.  He  is  the 
last  of  an  ancient  house,  and  inherits  a  noble  neu 
rasthenia  and  subtle  melancholia  of  character. 

MILDRED 

Neurasthenia,  I  understand,  is  the  foundation  of 
tragedy. 

MORRIS 

Absolutely.  Hosmer  is  highly  wrought,  and  his 
sensitive  nature  makes  him  shun  all  commonplace  con 
flicts  with  life.  His  soul,  like  a  silkworm,  spins  an 
exquisite  chrysalis  of  its  own  mystic  being  to  shroud 
it  from  the  garish  world.  But  this  beautiful  filament 
is  rudely  and  suddenly  torn  by  Destiny.  He  marries 
a  wife. 

MILDRED 

I  begin  to  see. 

MORRIS 

You  know  the  type — forgive  me  for  ever  having 
associated  you  with  it: — a  woman  hopelessly  whole 
some,  obtusely  moral,  blindly  domestic,  hideously  fond 
of  a  joke. 

MILDRED 

I  know:  the  kind  with  incurably  good  digestion. 


62  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

That's  it.  Well,  this  abnormally  healthy  woman 
is  hung  by  fate  like  a  mill-stone  round  the  neck  of 
Hosmer.  Her  sunny  disposition  (as  the  old  school 
used  to  call  it),  her  red-cheeked  laughter,  her  unshake- 
able  nerves — these  fail  utterly  to  develop  the  psychic 
powers  of  the  superman.  Slowly  but  surely  he  de 
clines  into  a  happy  contentment  with  her  normal  view 
of  things.  Step  by  step  his  tragic  genius  is  under 
mined.  At  last  she  even  makes  him  see  a  flaw  in  his 
own  masterpiece — and  she  laughs  at  him.  But  listen ! 
At  that  very  moment,  a  single  knock  resounds  on  the 
ancestral  knocker,  and  enter — Amorata! 

MILDRED 

Masterly ! 

MORRIS 

That's  the  curtain  of  Act  First. 

MILDRED 

Amorata,  of  course,  is  the  superwoman. 

MORRIS 

Yes.  She  symbolizes  the  psychic  emanation  of  the 
oversoul,  the  embodied  spirit  of  Anti-Matrimony. 
She  enters  palely  beautiful,  wearing  a  swarm  of  bees. 

MILDRED 

A  whole  swarm !     But  is  that  practical  ? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  63 

MORRIS 

It's  symbolical.  She  wears  them  in  clusters,  at 
climaxes. 

MILDRED 

Oh! 

MORRIS 

Amorata,  then,  enters — superb,  erotic,  divinely 
pathological.  She  saves  Hosmer  at  the  dramatic  in 
stant,  reawakens  the  artistic  vacillation  of  his  will, 
and  restores  him  to  perfect  self -approval  of  his  mas 
terpiece. 

MILDRED 

What  is  his  masterpiece? 

MORRIS 

It's — I  haven't  decided  that  either.  A  bell  tower, 
I  think,  or  a  painting ;  either  some  pinnacle  that  he 
can  fall  down  from,  or  some  portrait  that  he  can  hack 
to  pieces.  My  last  three  acts,  you  see,  are  not  settled 
yet.  We  must  consult  the  Masters  carefully. 

MILDRED 

It  is  so  kind  of  you  to  want  me  to  collaborate. 

«  MORRIS 

Not  at  all. 

MILDRED 

Are  there  any  other  characters? 


64  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Yes,  I  have  in  mind  several — a  morphine  patient, 
an  inebriate  pastor,  a  suicidal  doctor,  a  tubercular 
poet,  a  kleptomaniac  and  some  others. 

MILDRED 

Are  none  of  them — quite  well? 

MORRIS 

Only  the  wife,  for  contrast.  Undiseased  persons 
are  essentially  tmdramatic. 

MILDRED 

I  see.  I  suppose,  then,  you  must  take  care  not  to 
let  your  characters  meet  each  other,  for  fear  of  in 
fection. 

MORRIS 

Not  at  all.  My  characters  have  only  those  highly 
artistic  diseases  adapted  to  modern  technique.  What 
puzzles  me,  however,  is  how  to  bring  them  all  to  the 
mill-race. 

MILDRED 

The  mill-race ;  what's  that? 

MORRIS 

That's  the  final  catastrophe.  It's  the  water,  you 
know,  that  leads  to  the  mill-wheel.  My  chief  charac 
ters,  of  course,  must  all  be  drowned  there. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  65 

MILDRED 

By  accident? 

MORRIS 

No,  indeed ;  by  inheritance.  Inheritance  is  the  mod 
ern  form  of  fate,  you  know.  But  the  minor  persons 
still  puzzle  me.  Which  do  you  prefer — death  by 
paranoeic  insanity,  or  pistol  shot? 

MILDRED 

Oh,  pistol  shot,  please !  Of  all  thrilling  effects,  I 
think,  a  pistol  shot — off  the  scene,  just  before  the 
curtain  falls — is  the  most  delightful. 

MORRIS 

You  are  extremely  helpful,  Mildred.  I  don't  re 
member  that  Isabelle  ever  gave  me  such  illuminating 
criticisms. 

MILDRED 

Why,  Isabelle  is  just  a  little  immature,  don't  you 
think?  I  mean — to  appreciate  fully  your  problems 
as  a  dramatist. 

MORRIS 

I  have  often  thought  that. 

MILDRED 

After  all,  she  is  only  nineteen.  And  there  is  an 
impassable  gulf  between  the  teens  and  the  twenties, 
isn't  there? 


66  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

There's  a  lot  to  what  you  say. 

MILDRED 

I  was  thinking  just  now — It's  such  a  beautiful  co 
incidence. 

MORRIS 
What? 

MILDRED 

[Dreamily.] 
Oh,  nothing. 

MORRIS 

c 

Please  tell  me ! 

MILDRED 

Well,  I  was  just  thinking  how  mystical  it  is  that 
you  and  I — of  all  this  household — are  the  only  ones 
in  our  twenties. 

MORRIS 

By  Jove !    That's  so. 

MILDRED 

Elliott  is  thirty-one. 

MORRIS 
So  he  is. 

MILDRED 

Ah!  There  is  so  much  in  the  subtle  affiliations  of 
time. 

MORRIS 

Affiliations  of  time!  Mildred,  you're  wonderful. 
You  seem  to  have  developed  since  this  morning. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  67 

MILDRED 

Thanks  to  you — my  master! 

MOREIS 

I  always  suspected  that  underneath  your  cold  New 
England  restraint  there  lurked  a  bright  naiad  of  the 
beautiful  old  world. 

MILDRED 

A  nix  in  the  home  mill-pond,  you  mean?  Yes,  but 
it  needed  a  mystical  fisher  like  yourself  to  lure  the 
naiad  to  the  surface,  and  reveal  to  her  visions  of  the 
sunset  and  the  stars.  But  now  you  mustn't  stop ;  you 
must  teach  me  your  whole  secret — how  I  may  free  my 
soul  completely  from  this  narrow  world  that  has  sealed 
my  eyes  so  long. 

MORRIS 

Be  exceptional,  Mildred;  dare  to  be  different — at 
all  costs. 

MILDRED 

[Pensively.] 
Dare  to  be  different. 

MORRIS 

Deny  the  gross  dictates  of  society,  the  tyranny  of 
others. 

MILDRED 

[Murmurs.] 
The  tyranny  of  husbands. 


68  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Realize  yourself.  Be  an  individual — free,  self- 
poised,  unique. 

MILDRED 

O,  Maurice,  I  see  it  all  now ;  the  beauty  of  being 
unique.  I  have  never  realized  before  how  exceptional, 
how  beautiful  I  am.  I  have  been  blinded — by  Elliott. 
He  has  forced  me  to  lead  a  life  which  has  taught  me 
to  forget  the  very  aim  of  existence — my  own  soul, 
myself. 

MORRIS 

Do  you  know  why?  It's  because  he  has  made  you 
the  victim  of  his  own  dark  inheritance :— he  has  al 
lowed  himself  and  you  to  be  guided  by  ghosts. 

MILDRED 

Ghosts !  You  are  right.  You  have  shown  me  this 
home  of  mine  for  what  it  really  is— a  charnel  house, 
in  which  my  soul  sits  mated  to  a  spectre.  I  see  it 
now.  This  hearthstone— it  was  here  he  led  me  home— 
his  living  bride.  This  haunted  house— what  is  it  but 
the  hollow  chamber  of  a  skull,  musty  with  dead  creeds, 
every  window  a  staring,  vacant  eye,  every  gable  a 
Puritan's  peaked  hat?  Oh,  forgive  me  this  outburst! 
But  do  you  wonder  that  the  mere  thought  of  Elliott 
awakens  in  me  feelings — impossible  to  express! 

MORRIS 

Mildred 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  69 

MILDRED 

You  have  turned  a  searchlight  into  my  soul  and 
shown  me  my  own  hopelessness. 

MORRIS 

No,  Mildred,  not  hopelessness,  but  hope;  the  hope 
of  anti-matrimony.  Think  of  all  that  holds  out  to 
you — uniqueness,  tragedy,  scorn  of  the  common  world ! 
All,  all  are  yours,  if  you  only  dare. 

MILDRED 

Oh,  Maurice,  may  I  indeed  lay  my  soul  bare  to  you, 
without  shame  or  fear  of  rebuke? 

MORRIS 
How  can  you  ask?     Of  course;  confide  in  me. 

MILDRED 

No,  I'm  afraid;  not  till  you  promise  you  will  for 
give  me  when  you  have  heard  all. 

MORRIS 
But  how  can  I,  Mildred,  before  I  know  all? 

MILDRED 

[Rushing  away.] 
Good-by !    Good-by ! 

MORRIS 
Mildred,  come  back.     I  promise — whatever  it  is. 


70  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Whatever  it  is — you'll  forgive? 

MORRIS 
I  promise. 

MILDRED 

[Returning  slowly. ,] 

That  gives  me  courage.  You  ought  never  to  have 
come.  You  ought  never  to  have  awakened  my  soul. 

MORRIS 

Don't  say  that.  I  am  proud  of  that.  Tell  me  all 
— everything. 

MILDRED 

I  have  deceived  you,  Maurice. 

MORRIS 
Deceived  me — you! 

MILDRED 

I  am  deceiving  you  now. 

MORRIS 
Mildred!    How  is  it  possible? 

MILDRED 

Listen!  I  shall  continue  to  deceive  you,  unless — 
unless  you  should  guess.  Look  in  my  eyes.  Do  you 
guess?  Do  you  guess? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  71 

MORRIS 

You  don't  mean  that  I — that  you 

MILDRED 

Wait.  Hear  me.  I  will  confess  all.  I  am  a  wife 
— twenty-seven — married  five  years.  Until  yesterday 
I  thought  myself  happy,  truthful,  innocent.  Yester 
day  you  arrived  from  Europe.  Almost  the  first  word 
from  your  lips, — that  daring,  scornful,  truthful 
avowal  of  your  relations  with  Isabelle — ah,  it  was  elec 
tric  !  It  filled  me  with  a  new  and  dangerous  delight.  It 
revolutionized  my  home  and  hearth.  Oh,  at  first,  of 
course,  I  pretended  to  be  shocked.  I  even  gave  you 
foolish  domestic  advice — asked  you  to  marry  Isabelle, 
you  remember. 


MORRIS 

Don't,  Mildred !    Don't  imagine  I  hold  that  against 
DU  now. 


MILDRED 

I  don't;  it's  not  that.  [Sitting  at  the  table.]  It's 
— it's — how  shall  I  confess  it?  After  you  left  me 
alone  in  the  orchard — I  went  and  sat  me  down  by  the 
mill-pond,  thinking — thinking  wildly.  Your  voice  was 
still  in  my  ears,  and  the  music  of  anti-matrimony! 
Then  I  gazed  in  the  dark  waters  and  beheld  there- 
can  you  guess? 


72  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Your  image. 

MILDRED 

The  image  of  a  dissembling  wife,  a  deceiving  sister, 
a  hypocritical  friend.     Now,  now  do  you  guess? 

MORRIS 
You  bewilder  me,  Mildred. 

MILDRED 

[Rising.] 

In  pity's  name,  do  not  say  that  you — my  deliverer 
— fail  to  understand! 

MORRIS 
No,  no.    I  understand  perfectly  of  course.  But 

MILDRED 

Surely    you,    of    all    men,    can    read    my    mystic 
thoughts  and  sympathize. 

MORRIS 
My  poor  girl!     I  begin  to  see. 

MILDRED 

I  knew  you  would. 

MORRIS 

Since   yesterday — only   yesterday!      In   less   than 
twenty-four  hours ! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  73 

MILDRED 

A  moment  may  be  an  immortality. 

MORRIS 
And  it  came  like  that? 

MILDRED 

[Murmurs.] 
Just  like  that. 

MORRIS 

In  the  very  moment,  you  say,  when  I  first  spoke 
to  you? 

MILDRED 

[Exaltedly.'] 

In  your  mouth  were  the  thunders  of  emancipation, 
and  on  your  lips  the  lightnings  of  deliverance. 

MORRIS 

It's  all  so  sudden — so  splendidly  tragic.    Desperate 
child,  what  are  you  to  do? 

MILDRED 

Do  you  ask  me  that  ? — you ! 

MORRIS 
I  mean,  how  are  you  going  to  announce  it? 

MILDRED 

Announce  it !    Is  it  not  enough  that  you  know  that 
7  know — that  we  alone  know  ? 


74  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

[TFi£/i  abrupt  decision.] 

No,  Mildred,  the  announcement  of  this  tragic  case 
will  strengthen  my  campaign.  The  declaration  of 
your  secret  passion  for  me  will  help  to  rally  others 
to  my  banner.  You  must  declare  it. 

MILDRED 

But  my  husband — your  own  brother;  Isabelle — my 
sister.  Such  relationships !  What  will  the  world  say  ? 

MORRIS 

My  child,  it  is  glorious !  The  relationships  are 
classic ;  the  tragic  conflict  is  perfect.  And  the  world 
— the  world  will  revile  us ! 

MILDRED 

[Sinking  on  the  settee.  ] 

Ah,  but  you  are  a  man  and  brave.  I  am  weak  and 
a  woman. 

MORRIS 

Not  now !  Now  you  are  neither  weak,  nor  a  woman 
— you  are  an  Anti-Mat. 

MILDRED 

I  know,  Maurice.  But  consider  how  long  I  have 
lived  the  life  of  a  Mat — abject,  trodden  underfoot. 
You  can't  expect  me  to  rise  all  alone  on  my  own 
hearthstone  and  be  spurned  by  the  foot  of  my  op 
pressor. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  75 

MORRIS 

Alone!     Of  course  not.     Where  you  rise,  a  whole 
army  of  Anti-Mats  will  flock  to  our  standard. 
[ELLIOTT  appears  outside,  quietly  passing.] 

MILDRED 

[Crying  out  and  pointing.] 
Ah !  There  he  is. 

[ELLIOTT  precipitately  disappears.] 

MORRIS 
Who? 

MILDRED 

Elliott.  There  in  the  orchard.     What  if  he  should 
see  us! 

MORRIS 
Let  him  come. 

MILDRED 

No,  no.     I'm  afraid.     Consider;  he  is  my  husband. 
And  you — you  know  what  you  are  to  me.    Have  pity. 

MORRIS 

Poor,  infatuated  child!     Why  do  you  seek  refuge 
in  cowardice? 

MILDRED 

The  spirit  of  Anti-Matrimony  forsakes  me.     I  need 
time — wisdom. 


76  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Remember  what  Zarathustra,  the  master,  has  said: 
"Be  brave,  indifferent,  scornful,  violent — thus  wis 
dom   would  have  us   to   be."      Be   violent,   Mildred! 
This  is  your  tragic  moment.     Be  true  to  the  Masters. 

MILDRED 

You  are  right.  I  need  violence.  [Rising,  speaks 
with  increasing  "violence."]  Go — bring  them.  I 
will  be  true  to  them. 

MORRIS 
Bring  them? 

MILDRED 

The  Masters.  Upstairs.  Go.  Bring  down  the 
dress-suit  case.  Bring  me  the  Masters,  Maurice. 

MORRIS 

[Hastening  up  the  stairs.'] 
Mildred!— I  will. 

[MORRIS  disappears  from  the  landmg.  MILDRED  sinks 
upon  the  settee  cushions  in  muffled  laughter.  En 
ter  at  back,  ELLIOTT.] 

ELLIOTT 

[In  a  low  voice,  saluting  with  his  right  hand.] 
Orders,  Captain?    How's  the  wind? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  77 

MILDRED 

[Catching  her  breath.] 
East-nor-west  due  southerly. 

ELLIOTT 

Are  those  your  sailing  instructions? 

MILDRED 

Yes,  sir.  7  now  am  headed,  full  sail,  for  the  Eman 
cipation  Isles,  and  you,  mate,  are  bound  for  the  Haven 
of  Home  and  the  Straits  of  Separation. 

ELLIOTT 

But  I  thought  you  had  me  in  tow. 

MILDRED 

No,  sir,  you're  cut  loose.  So  remember;  whenever 
the  Morris  is  in  sight,  you  must  fly  matrimonial  col 
ors  and  steer  port,  and  whenever  you  spy  the  Isabelle, 
you  must  fly  the  Anti-Mat  flag  and  run  starboard. 

ELLIOTT 
And  what  if  I  sight  them  both  at  once? 

MILDRED 

Why,  then,  steer  both  ways  at  once  and  send  up  a 
signal  of  distress. 


78  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Hold  on,  my  dear !  Do  you  expect  a  mere  minister 
of  the  gospel  to  be  your  co-star  in  this  advanced 
vaudeville? 

MILDRED 

I  do,  old  stupid.  Don't  you  see  ?  To  Isabelle  you're 
an  Anti,  and  to  Morris  and  me  you're  a  Mat. 

ELLIOTT 

Kind  of  a  reversible  Persian  rug.     Is  that  it? 

MILDKED 

Exactly.  Topside  up,  you're  the  perfect  pattern 
of  a  husband;  upside  down,  you're  a  mystical  lover. 

ELLIOTT 

How  about  wrong  side  out? 

[Enter,  left,  ISABELLE.  She  wears  a  shrunken,  faded, 
brown  dress,  awkwardly  misfitting  and  unbecom 
ing".  This  contrasts  absurdly  with  the  extra 
pains  she  has  bestowed  upon  the  towering,  com 
plicated  architecture  of  her  hair.  Seeing  EL 
LIOTT  and  MILDRED,  she  hesitates,  embarrassed 
and  woeful.  ELLIOTT,  facmg  the  other  way, 
does  not  see  her.  MILDRED,  instantly  altering  her 
voice  to  one  of  pained  accusation,  continues  to 
speak  to  ELLIOTT,  who  stares  at  her  in  fresh  be 
wilderment.] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  79 

MILDRED 

No,  Elliott!  After  five  years  of  married  life  to 
gether — five  years,  in  which  I  have  sacrificed  my  soul 
to  your  narrow  interests — after  five  long  years,  I  think 
I  have  the  right  to  expect  of  you 

ELLIOTT 
What  the  devil 

MILDRED 

[With  horrified  tone.] 

Please ! — don't  give  way  to  one  of  your  outbursts 
of  profanity.  Remember  you  are  a  minister. 

ELLIOTT 

Ministers  get  their  livelihood  from  the  devil,  my 
dear.  It's  only  Christian  to  allude  to  him. 

[Above,  on  the  landing,  enters  MORRIS,  carrying  a 
dress-suit  case.  He  pauses  to  look  down;  then 
listens  intently.  Meantime,  ISABELLE — who  does 
not  see  him — manifests  also  an  eager  detective 
interest  in  the  conversation.] 

MILDRED 

Oh,  don't,  don't !  Don't  make  me  a  partner  in  this 
hypocrisy. 

ELLIOTT 

Hypocrisy ! 


80  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You  wear  one  face  toward  the  world,  and  another 
in  your  home.  For  five  years  I  have  wasted  my  youth, 
I  have  repressed  my  personality,  I  have  concealed  my 
art — and  all  for  this ! 

ELLIOTT 
Do  you  mean  to  accuse  me  of 

MILDRED 

Oh,  I  don't  accuse  you.  I  may  be  wrong.  Heaven 
grant  that  I  am.  I  only  say  that  when  I  see  this  sud 
den  infatuation 

ELLIOTT 

Infat 

MILDRED 

Before  my  very  eyes,  I  cannot  be  silent.  I  will  only 
ask  why  you  should  have  chosen  that  dress  of  all 
others!  [ELLIOTT  turns  and  discovers  ISABELLE.]  I 
will  only  remind  you  how  you  once  said  you  loved  that 
dress  for  my  sake.  You  gave  me  that  dress  on  my 
wedding  anniversary,  and  now — and  now 

ISABELLE 

[Coming  forward  wildly.'} 
You  know  why  I  wear  it.    You  know! 

MILDRED 

\ 

And  now  she  confesses !    Yes,  Isabelle,  I  know  in- 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  81 

deed  why  you  wear  it.  I  know,  yet  I  will  not  accuse 
you  either.  O  my  husband — my  sister !  Heaven  be 
just  to  us  all. 

[She  rushes  out,  right.] 

ISABELLA 

[Calling  after  her.] 
The  trunks — you  know — I've  got  nothing  else 

MORRIS 

[Hurrying  down  the  stairs  with  the  dress-suit  case.] 
Mildred! 

ISABELLE 

[Trying  to  conceal  her  dress  by  standing  behind  the 

settee.] 
Maurice !    Did  you  overhear  her  ? 

MORRIS 

[Stopping  and  looking  severely  from  ISABELLE  to 
ELLIOTT.] 

Yes. 

ELLIOTT 

[To  himself.] 
Starboard — port ! 

MORRIS 
I  overheard  all — all! 


82  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

I — I  haven't  seen  anything  of  you  for  hours. 
[Suddenly  seeing  the  dress-suit  case,  steps  forward 

with  a  cryJ\ 
6h ! — Where  are  you  taking  that  ? 

MORRIS 
Why  are  you  wearing  that? 

ISABELLE 

[Tearfully.'} 
Mine's  in  the  tub. 

MORRIS 
In  the  tub ! 

ISABELLE 

The  trunks — You're  not  taking  that  to  her? 

MORRIS 
Why  did  you  put  it  in? 

ISABELLE 

I  didn't — the  Masters — the  Masters  are  in  it. 

MORRIS 
In  the  tub? 

ISABELLE 

No,  in  the  suit-case,   I  said.     Don't  prevaricate, 
Maurice.     The  Masters  are  in  there. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  83 

ELLIOTT 

Perhaps  if  I  might  arbitrate  this 


MORRIS 

[To  ELLIOTT.] 

You !  You  that  for  five  years — ha !  This  gown,  I 
understand,  is  a  favorite  of  yours.  Do  you  deny  it? 

ELLIOTT 

Dear  me,  no!  I  own  to  a  very  ancient  par 
tiality 

ISABELLE 

Won't  you  answer  me?  Are  you  taking  this  to 
Mildred? 

MORRIS 

Certainly.  She  is  developing  wonderfully.  Her 
open-mindedness  is  magnificent.  I  have  every  hope 
of  making  her  an  Anti.  I  only  wish  that  I  could  ac 
count  for  this  astonishing  change  in  you,  Isabelle. 

ISABELLE 

[Moving  farther  from  ELLIOTT.] 
Oh,  Maurice!  Don't  you  understand?  Don't  let  him 
hear. 

MORRIS 

[Glancing  back  at  ELLIOTT.] 

Him?  Oh,  I  see.  You  mean  you  wear  this  to  con 
vert  him  to  our  campaign?  His  favorite  gown. 
Clever  girl ! 


84  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Dolefully.] 
Oh,  no,  no! 

MORRIS 

[Sternly.] 
What,  then,  do  you  mean? 

ISABELLE 

I  mean  the  Masters — my  favorite  passages — they're 
underlined.  You  mustn't  let  her  see  them. 

MORRIS 

Isabelle,  you  are  utterly  transformed.  I  will  not 
ask  your  secret  motive  in  selecting  this  gown ;  I  leave 
that  to  your  conscience.  I  cannot  discuss  it  further. 

[Going  out,  at  right,  with  the  suit-case.] 
Mildred! 

ISABELLE 

Maurice! — Stop  him — What  shall  I  do? 

ELLIOTT 

My  dear  Isabelle,  it  has  appealed  to  me  strangely 
for  years.  I  remember  originally  the  stuff  was  a 
bargain. 

ISABELLE 

Don't  allude  to  it. 

ELLIOTT 

Certainly  not.  I  only  mean  that  I  appreciate  your 
thought  of  me  in  wearing  it. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  85 

ISABELLE 

I  never  thought  of  you.  [Looking  after  MORRIS.] 
Oh,  it's  beyond  words ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Looking  her  over.~\ 
Yes ;  I  think  it  is. 

ISABELLE 

But  I  won't  stand  it.  If  I  am  to  be  falsely  sus 
pected,  insulted — I'll  have  my  revenge. 

ELLIOTT 

You  were  kind  enough,  my  dear,  to  say  that  you 
would  instruct  me  in  the  principles  of  Anti-Matri 
mony. 

ISABELLE 

Did  I?     I  believe  I  did. 

ELLIOTT 

I  can  promise  you  shall  find  me  an  attentive  dis 
ciple.  Will  you  begin — now? 

ISABELLE 

No,  please.  We'll  postpone  that.  I  should  like, 
instead,  to — to  ask  you  a  favor. 

ELLIOTT 

Delighted !    As  a  Mat  or  an  Anti  ? 


86  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  neither.    I  should  just  like  to  ask  if  you  would 
mind  being — well,  pleasant. 

ELLIOTT 

Oh!    Pleasant! 

ISABELLE 

To  me,  you  know.    I  mean  as  pleasant  as  you  know 
how — whenever  Maurice  is  around. 


ELLIOTT 
Attentive,  you  mean? 

ISABELLE 

Attentive — without  intention.    You  understand. 

ELLIOTT 

Unintentionally  attentive. 

ISABELLE 

No,  no,  I  mean — will  you  please  be  particularly 
pleasant,  without  being  painful? 

ELLIOTT 

My  dear  Isabelle,  that  has  been  the  unattainable 
dream  of  my  life. 

ISABELLE 

You  mean  you  can't  be  pleasant  to  me? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  87 

ELLIOTT 

Moderately,  my  dear.  I  will  be  moderately  pleas 
ant  to  the  point  of  passion.  But  I  know  that  I  shall 
fall  short  of  being  particularly  pleasant  without 
pain. 

ISABELLE 

Well,  that  will  do  nicely.     Thank  you. 
[She  starts  to  go.~] 

ELLIOTT 

Won't  you  wait,  and  let  me  moderately  please  you  ? 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  it's  of  no  importance  now.  Only  just  the  mo 
ment  Maurice  and  Mildred  are  near  us — then  begin. 

ELLIOTT 
Hadn't  I  better  stay  with  you,  then? 

ISABELLE 

Perhaps  you  had.  Suppose  you  read  aloud  to  me 
in  the  orchard. 

ELLIOTT 

Delighted.     Some  of  my  own  books? 

ISABELLE 

Yes,  that  will  be  just  the  thing. 

[He  goes  to  the  book-shelves  and  selects  some  vol 
umes.] 


88  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

These,  now,  I  feel  sure  will  please  you — moder 
ately. 

ISABELLE 

How  nice  of  you.    What  are  they? 

ELLIOTT 

Here,  my  dear,  take  your  choice :  "The  Sermons  of 
Theodore  Parker,"  "The  Life  of  Channing,"  "Essays 
on  Irrigation  and  Social  Ethics,"  "Self-Help  versus 
Humanitarianism,"  "Sociological  Investigations  in 
the  Slum  Districts  of " 

[They  disappear  in  the  orchard.     After  a  moment, 
enter  from  the  right  MORRIS  and  MILDRED.] 

MORRIS 

If  I  have  been  able  to  help  you 

MILDRED 

Help  me?  You  have  created  me  anew.  You  found 
me  a  matrimonial  atom,  lost  in  the  collective  mass  of 
a  myriad  wives;  and  you  have  made  me  an  indi 
vidual. 

MORRIS 

You  have  been  so  responsive,  Mildred. 

MILDRED 

Oh,  to  be  at  last  an  individual — singular — excep- 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  89 

tional— solely  myself!  To  know  that  the  centuries 
and  the  civilizations  have  existed  merely  for  this :  to 
evolve  me — mystic,  immeasurable  me! 

MORRIS 
Now  you  speak  like  a  true  artist. 

MILDRED 

An  artist!     Ah,  that  reminds  me.     I  have  never 

told  you,  have  I? 

MORRIS 

What? 

MILDRED 

What  I  really  am.  Oh,  you  will  encourage  me, 
won't  you?  You  will  help  me  to  be— what  I  really 

am? 

MORRIS 

I  am  proud  to  help  you. 

MILDRED 

Maurice,  I  really  am 

MORRIS 
What,  Mildred? 

MILDRED 

Adanseuse.  All  my  life  I  have  concealed  it.  Only 
occasionally,  at  picnics  and  birthday  parties,  I  have 
given  way  to  the  divine  instinct,  and  dazzled  my  be 
wildered  partner  in  the  two-step.  At  all  other  times 
my  imprisoned  genius  has  struggled  like  a  captive 


90  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

fawn  for  freedom.   But  what  hope  has  an  artist  with 
a  husband  and  a  home ! 

MORRIS 
I  know. 

MILDRED 

Matrimony  and  the  fine  arts  are  mutually  exclusive. 
What  could  I  do  ?  I  simply  sacrificed  Terpsychore  on 
the  altar  of  Elliott. 

MORRIS 

But  not  now,  Mildred.     Never  again. 


MILDRED 

[Going  to  the  phonograph  and  winding  it.~\ 
No,  not  now.     For  you  have  taught  me  to  realize 
myself.     Henceforward  I  will  be  me — Mildred,   the 
danseuse.     Listen!     Do  you  know  those  strains? 

MORRIS 
"The  Merry  Widow." 

MILDRED 

Will  you  waltz  with  me? 

MORRIS 

Now?     Here? 

MILDRED 

Here  and  now.    You  have  struck  off  the  last  of  my 
shackles.     Let  me  revel  in  my  emancipation. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  91 

MORRIS 

Mildred,  you  are  superb. 

MILDRED 

Dance ! 

[To  the  strains  of  the  phonograph  they  waltz  to 
gether.  As  they  do  so,  ISABELLE  and  ELLIOTT 
reappear  from  the  orchard,  ISABELLE  hastening 
ahead,  ELLIOTT  following  with  an  open  book  in 
his  hands.  ] 

ISABELLE 

[On  the  threshold,  dropping  the  other  volumes  from 

her  arms.] 
I  was  sure  of  it.     It's  they ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Reading  aloud.] 

"As  far  as  we  are  able  to  determine  the  sociological 
aspects " 

ISABELLE 

Stop  it ;  begin :  be  pleasant. 

ELLIOTT 

[Cheerfully.] 
How  delightfully  they  waltz ! 

ISABELLE 

No,  no;  to  me — to  me. 

[Enter,  left,  MRS.  GREY.] 


92  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS.    GREY 

My  dears !      The    phonograph — it    will   wake   the 
baby. 
[MILDRED  and  MORRIS,  heedless,  continue  to  dance .] 

ISABELLE 

They're  perfectly  shameless — Mildred! 

ELLIOTT 

Morris !    I  wish  to  expostulate 

MRS.    GREY 

Children — the  dust — the  baby > 

ISABELLE 

[With  flashing  eyes,  shuts  off  the  phonograph.'] 
Mildred,  what  does  this  mean — this  amazing  be 
havior? 

ELLIOTT 
Yes,  my  love,  this  extraordinary  change? 

MILDRED 

[Pausing.] 

Mean,  my  friends?     It  means  I  am  no  longer  a 
Mat. 

MRS.    GREY 

She  is  ill. 

MILDRED 

This   is   the   moment   of   my   emancipation.      The 
chains  of  my  Puritan  ancestors  fall  from  me.     Yet 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  93 

still  I  hesitate.    One  doubt  alone  keeps  me  from  claim 
ing  the  fulness  of  my  freedom. 

MORRIS 
A  doubt,  Mildred? 

MILDRED 

[With  piercing  scrutmy."} 

Answer  me.  Is  there  no  bond  of  convention  be 
tween  you  and  that  woman?  None? 

MORRIS 

[Ignoring  a  gesture  of  supplication  from  ISABELLA.] 
N-none  whatever. 

MILDRED 

[To  ISABELLE.] 

And  you,  O  woman:  Is  there  no  legal  tie  between 
you  and  this  man? 

ISABELLE 

[Trans-fixed  by  the  eyes  of  MORRIS.] 
Of — of  course  not. 

[Turning  to  ELLIOTT.] 
For  heaven's  sake,  be  pleasant ! 

MILDRED 

Then  I  hesitate  no  more.  I  declare  myself.  Sis 
ter,  husband,  mother — good-by!  You  are  ghosts, 
ghosts — all!  Into  the  living  commonwealth  of  free 
lovers,  I  elect  myself. 


94  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS.    GREY 

It's  turned  her  head — Elliott ! 

MILDRED 

Maurice — you  that  have  delivered  me  out  of  the 
bondage  of  matrimony,  you  that  have  mystically 
shown  me  the  tragic  spirit,  you  that  have  made  me  a 
superwoman — see!  At  last  I  dare:  I  love  you; 
dance  with  me  again. 
[At  a  sign  from  her,  ELLIOTT  has  touched  the  lever 

of  the  phonograph,  which  resumes  "The  Merry 

Widow."] 

ISABELLE 

[Crying  out,  as  MORRIS  goes  toward  MILDRED.] 
Maurice ! 

[MORRIS  pauses.] 

MRS.    GREY 

[Aghast.] 
Morris ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Stentorian.] 
Morris ! 

MILDRED 

[Holding  out  her  arms.] 
Maurice ! 

[MORRIS  waltzes  with  MILDRED.] 
CURTAIN. 


ACT    III 


ACT  III 

[Night:  The  room  is  lighted  by  lamps  and  the 
glow  -from  a  wood  -fire  in  the  fireplace.  MILDRED 
and  ELLIOTT  are  discovered,  and  for  some  mo 
ments  nothing  is  said.  MILDRED  is  seated  on  the 
rug  before  the  fire;  ELLIOTT  stands  by  the  desk. 
MILDRED  is  dressed  in  a  splendid  black  gown, 
with  train,  low  neck  and  short  sleeves;  she  wears 
one  fiaming  red  rose  and  her  hair  is  arranged 
with  striking  tragedy^queen  effectiveness.  At  the 
moment  of  discovery  she  is  seated  upon  her  long 
train,  bending  over  the  open  dress-suit  case,  in 
and  about  which  are  piled  sundry  volumes,  some 
open,  others  closed,  with  bookmarks.  These  vol 
umes  she  is  putting  back  in  the  suit-case;  as  she 
does  so,  she  scans  the  marked  pages  hastily,  and 
makes  memoranda  with  a  pencil  upon  a  large  pad 
in  her  lap.  Meantime,  at  the  desk,  ELLIOTT  is 
solemnly  engaged  m  loading  two  pistols.  From 
a  small  tin  box  he  lifts  cartridges  and  inserts 
them  gingerly,  one  by  one,  making  various  aims 
and  passes  with  each  pistol,  fixing  his  attention 
— with  muttered  ejaculations — upon  a  central 
spot  in  the  rug.~\ 

97 


98  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[As  he  begins  to  load  the  second  pistol.] 
Two? 

MILDRED 

[Looking  up.] 
Both. 

ELLIOTT 

Is  there  need  of  more  than  one? 

MILDRED 

Positively.  It's  in  my  notes.  Here — •  [turning  to 
Tier  pad]  — here  it  is :  [Reads.]  "The  agents  of  ruin 
are  a  brace  of  old  cavalry  pistols,  cunningly  pre 
pared."  A  brace :  plural.  You  see. 

ELLIOTT 

Right  you  are!  "Cunningly  prepared."  It's  not 
for  me  to  dispute  the  Masters. 

[Both  continue  their  occupations,  until  MILDRED  has 
put  all  the  boohs  into  the  dress-suit  case.] 

MILDRED 

Dearie. 

ELLIOTT 

Hello! 

MILDRED 

Help  me  up. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  99 

ELLIOTT 

[Assisting  her  to  rise,  kisses  her.'] 
How  gorgeous  we  are ! 

MILDRED 

[Returning  his  car  ess. ~\ 
Aren't  we? 

ELLIOTT 
Where  did  you  hire  the  dressmaker? 

MILDRED 

In  the  attic. 

ELLIOTT 

The  attic ! 

MILDRED 

In  the  charade-chest.     There's  more  wonders  yet. 
Wait  till  the  climax. 

ELLIOTT 

I  thought  that  came  this  afternoon  with  the  waltz. 

MILDRED 

Not  a  bit.     That  didn't  explode  the  catastrophe. 
I've  been  boiling  'em  down. 

ELLIOTT 
Boiling  what  down? 

MILDRED 

The  catastrophes.    Here.  [She  hands  him  the  pad.~\ 


100  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[Reads  from  it,  while  MILDRED  examines  the  pistols. ,] 
"Suicide:    pistols,    coal-gas,    drowning    (mill-race 
preferred).     Desertion,  divorce,  insanity,  general  dis 
integration,  cataleptic  hysteria " 

MILDRED 

Don't  bother  to  read  them  all.  Morris  has  chosen 
the  best  of  'em.  Here ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Taking  from  her  a  manuscript.'] 
What's  this? 

MILDRED 

The  scenario  of  Morris's  play:  "Hosmer's  Home, 
or  The  Love  of  the  Bee."  He's  selected  the  mill- 
race,  and,  on  the  whole,  I  believe  that's  the  best. 

ELLIOTT 
Do  you  really  know  what  you're  talking  about? 

MILDRED 

Yes,  nice  old  partner;  but  you  don't!  Anyway, 
you're  a  sweet,  patient  old  thing  to  help  me  give  this 
little  vaudeville  lesson  to  the  young  folks.  I  appre 
ciate  it  awfully,  and  I  promise  to  help  you  with  a  lot 
of  parish  business  before  midnight. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  101 

ELLIOTT 

Well,  my  dear,  there  really  is  a  lot  of  community 
work  waiting  for  me.  There's  the  tenement  commis 
sion,  and  the  swampland  reclamation 

MILDRED 

All  in  good  time !  We've  got  to  reclaim  the  fam 
ily  first.  You  and  I  now  are  a  commission  of  non 
sense  to  restore  common  sense  to  two  little  numbskulls. 
Isabelle  must  learn  to  mind  the  baby,  and  Morris,  you 
know,  must  learn  to  say  "Shucks !"  again. 

ELLIOTT 

Capital !  Only  please  inform  me  how  all  this 
hodge-podge  of  pistols  and  "Hosmer's  Home " 

MILDRED 

Of  course.  I'll  teach  you  the  plot — cues  and 
all. 

ELLIOTT 

That's  some  comfort. 

MILDRED 

You  know,  dear,  you  always  were  good  at  Dumb 
Crambo  and  Christmas  charades;  so  you'll  learn.  It's 
like  this:  When  you  hear  me  calling  outside,  "Hos- 
mer!"— like  that— "Hosmer !" 

[Enter,  left,  MRS.  GREY.] 

Heavens !  here's  mother.  Go  to  my  room.  I'll  come 
in  a  few  minutes  and  rehearse  it  with  you. 


102  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Rehearse  it? 

MILDRED 

Here,  take  my  pad  and  study. 

MRS.    GREY 

Elliott ! 

ELLIOTT 

[With    repression,    looking    toward    MILDRED    for 

orders.] 
Good-evening,  mother. 

MILDRED 

[To  ELLIOTT,  sternly.] 
Go,  go ! 

[ELLIOTT  retires  solemnly  toward  the  outer  door.~\ 

MRS.    GREY 

[Wringing  her  hands. ~\ 

0  Mildred!     You're  not  parting  with  Elliott  for 
ever? 

MILDRED 

Naughty  motherkin !  Now  you're  playing  truant. 
You  know  I  told  you  to  stay  quietly  in  your  room  till 
to-morrow  morning;  then  I'll  explain  everything  to 
you — very  slowly. 

MRS.    GREY 

1  know  you  always  do  explain,  Mildred.     But  this 
time  I  was  afraid — I'm  afraid — you're  too  ill  to  ex 
plain. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  103 

MILDRED 

[Smiling.] 
Do  I  look  it? 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh,  yes,  my  child.  I  have  never  seen  you  look  like 
this  before.  And  this  afternoon — your  clothes,  your 
behavior,  your — your  unusual  words  to  Elliott.  You 
know,  I  have  heard — yes,  I  have  heard,  that  when 
people  act  like  that — when  they  dance  and  dress  and 
— and  bejave  like  that — it's  hysterics ! 

MILDRED 

Fiddle,  my  dear!  It's  not  hysterics — it's  just 
charades. 

MRS.    GREY 

Charades  !    I  never  thought  of  charades. 

MILDRED 

Don't  you  remember  this  gown  in  the  attic  chest? 

MRS.    GREY 

Yes,  but — yes,  but  then,  my  dear — if  it's — if  it's 
charades,  where's  the  curtain,  and  who — who  looks  on 
and  does  the  guessing? 

MILDRED 

You,  dear,  of  course;  haven't  you  been  guessing? 

MRS.    GREY 

Why — why,  yes.  But  not — not  a  word.  You 
never  told  me  how  many  syllables  to  guess,  or 


104  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Elliott  will  tell  you  all  about  it.  Run  along  with 
him.  And  whatever  happens,  don't  worry ;  just  guess. 

ELLIOTT 
Come  on,  Mammy. 

MILDRED 

And  remember !  You're  not  to  go  near  Isabelle,  or 
the  baby,  on  any  account. 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh,  Elliott,  I'm  still  afraid  she  is  ill. 
[Exeunt  MRS.  GREY  and  ELLIOTT,   left.     MILDRED 
goes  to  the  desk,  where  she  puts  the  pistols  in  a 
leathern  case,   and  closes  it.      Enter,  at   back, 
MORRIS.] 

MORRIS 
Ah! 

MILDRED 

Hosmer ! 

MORRIS 

Amorata ! 

MILDRED 

How  natural  it  seems  to  be  called  by  that  name ! 
Since  you  have  made  me — what  I  really  am,  I  feel  as 
if  I  were  a  part  of  your  masterpiece. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  105 

MORRIS 

So  you  are.  Art  which  is  not  experienced  is  worth 
less.  Every  true  dramatist  lives  his  play.  Amorata, 
you  are  divine ! 

MILDRED 

You  like  me  in  this?  It  expresses,  I  think,  the 
tragic  spirit. 

MORRIS 

Superbly!  She  must  dress  like  that  in  the  third 
act. 

MILDRED 

She  ?  You  mean,  I !  You  will  let  me  act  Amorata 
— won't  you? — when  she's  finished? 

MORRIS 

Oh,  if  you  would,  Mild — I  mean,  Amorata ! 

MILDRED 

You  know  it  requires  a  danseuse,  for  she  must 
dance  the  Tarantella. 

MORRIS 

Yes,  like  Nora.  I  thought  that  would  be  striking ; 
don't  you? 

MILDRED 

Oh,  of  all  things — yes !  You  can  see  the  sugges 
tions  I've  made  in  your  scenario — on  the  margin.  I've 
been  through  the  whole  suit-case. 


106  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

[Anxiously.] 
Have  you?    Well,  and  what  do  you  think? 

MILDRED 

My  Hosmer,  I  think  you  have  outdone  the  Masters. 

MORRIS 

[With  visible  pleasure.] 

I  hope  you're  not  flattering.     I  value  your  critical 
opinion  more  than  any  one's. 

MILDRED 

Even  than — Isabelle's? 

MORRIS 

Isabelle  was  never  truly  critical.     Besides,  she  has 
strangely  altered.     I  don't  understand  it. 

MILDRED 

[Naively.] 
I  wonder  if  /  am  to  blame. 

MORRIS 
You?    How? 

MILDRED 

Perhaps — somehow  I  feel — she  does  not  quite  ap 
prove  of  my  outspoken  attitude  toward  you. 

MORRIS 

Do  you  mean  she  has  expressed  her  disapproval? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  107 

MILDRED 

Oh,  not  directly.  But  I  am  afraid  she  misjudges 
me,  Hosmer.  I'm  afraid  she  considers  my  artlessness 
artful,  and  my  innocent  boldness  immodest.  Indeed. 
I  hate  to  believe  it,  but  I  fear  that  her  soul  is  con 
ventional. 

MORRIS 

I'm  afraid  so,  too.  I  have  feared  it  for  some  time. 
Oh,  it's  terrible ! 

MILDRED 

But  why,  Hosmer?  Why  to  you?  Her  narrow 
ideas  can  never  affect  your  freedom. 

MORRIS 
You  do  not  know. 

MILDRED 

Fortunately,  you  do  not  stand  in  the  awful  shadow 
of  a  wife,  as  I  do  of  a  husband. 

MORRIS 
[Nervously.'] 
A  wife !    Amorata,  do  not  speak  of  this  again. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer,  you  alarm  me.    You  look  haggard — ill — 

MORRIS 

Oh,  it  is  nothing.  Only,  if  sometimes  you  detect  in 
me  a  brooding  melancholy,  or  a  sudden  wildness,  you 


108  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

must  forgive  me,  but  never  ask  its  cause.     It's  only 
the  fingers  of  old  ghosts  upon  me. 


MILDRED 

But  you— I  thought  you  had  escaped  them— defied 
them? 

MORRIS 

Who  can  escape  from  the  haunting  sins  of  his 
past?  After  all,  I  could  never  have  the  tragic  spirit 
otherwise.  A  past  is  the  birthright  of  every  true 
artist. 

MILDRED 

You  are  right.  I,  too,  have  a  secret  which  is  heavy 
to  keep. 

MORRIS 
But  I  guessed  it :  your  passion  for  me. 

MILDRED 

It  is  even  deeper  than  that. 

MORRIS 

Deeper !  But,  then,  you  will  tell  it  to  me !  [Enter 
ISABELLE.  He  is  about  to  seize  MILDRED'S  hand.] 
Amorata,  I  beg — — 

MILDRED 

Hush !    The  shadow  of  destiny  falls  on  us ! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  109 

ISABELLE 

[The  once  proud  architecture  of  Tier  hair  is  now  in 
ruins,  and  in  one  hand  she  holds  an  apron,  which 
she  has  just  removed  from  her  borrowed  misfit 
gown.  In  a  choking  voice  she  speaks  to  MIL 
DRED.] 
Hypocrite ! 

MILDRED 

Farewell!  [She  ascends  the  stairs  to  the  landing.] 
Farewell!  I  leave  you — together. 

ISABELLE 

Stop!  [Exit  MILDRED.]  Comeback!  Oh,  it's  not 
fair.  She  always  runs  away.  She  doesn't  dare  to 
face  me. 

MORRIS 

It  seems  to  me  she  has  shown  more  courage  than 
you. 

ISABELLE 

Courage !  She  has  shown  the  courage  of  a  brazen 
adventuress.  She  has  left  me  helpless  and  alone.  She 
has  dismissed  both  the  maids  for  a  holiday,  and  your 
mother's  nowhere  to  be  found,  and  I've  had  to  mind 
the  baby,  all  by  myself,  for  hours. 

MORRIS 
If  you  will  give  way  to  such  domestic  instincts 


110  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Could  I  let  it  choke  with  screaming  ?  Courage !  I 
tell  you,  Maurice,  7  have  shown  courage,  while  my 
heartless  sister  has  stolen  the  gown  from  my  back,  and 
the  hair  from  my  head,  and  the  husband 

MORRIS 

Stop !    Don't  speak  that  word. 

ISABELLE 

And  all  the  while  pluming  herself  like  a  bird-of- 
paradise  to  bamboozle  you. 

MORRIS 
Bamboozle  me.     Ha! 

ISABELLE 

Yes,  bamboozle  you.  O  Maurice,  how  easily  you 
have  been  deceived  by  an  artful  woman ! 

MORRIS 
[DarUy.'} 
I  am  beginning  to  think  so,  Isabelle. 

ISABELLE 

Thank  heaven,  then,  your  eyes  are  opening  at  last, 

MORRIS 

Thank  heaven,  indeed — even  though  it's  heart 
breaking. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  111 

ISABELLE 

Heart-breaking!    So  it's  gone  as  far  as  that? 

MORRIS 

Almost,  Isabelle.  But  I  shan't  let  it  go  any  far 
ther,  now  that  you  have  made  me  to  see  through  you. 

ISABELLE 

Through  me!    Through  Mildred,  you  mean. 

MORRIS 

No,  you.  Ever  since  that  hour  in  Vienna,  when  the 
maid-servant  left,  and  you  cried  to  go  home  to  Amer 
ica,  I  have  suspected  it — dreaded  it.  Now  you  have 
convinced  me.  In  your  heart  of  hearts,  you  are  not 
an  Anti — you  are  a  Mat! 

ISABELLE 

How  can  you  say  such  a  dreadful  thing! 

MORRIS 

I  will  prove  it.  Answer  me  this:  Are  you  not 
jealous  of  Mildred? 

ISABELLE 

Jealous  ? 

MORRIS 

Of  her  devotion  to  me? 

ISABELLE 

[Tearfully.'] 
Yes,  Maurice.     I  am.    I  own  I  am. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 


MORRIS 

Listen  to  that  !  Where  now  is  your  consecration  to 
our  campaign?  —  to  free  love?  to  my  career?  to  the 
works  of  the  Masters  ?  Have  you  forgotten  my  play 
—  my  mystic  symbol,  "The  Love  of  the  Bee"?  This 
very  morning  you  called  it  beautiful. 

ISABELI/E 
Indeed,  but  it  is  ! 

MORRIS 

I  brought  you  apple-blossoms.  Now  they  are  faded. 
So  be  it.  Yet  the  symbol  still  blooms  on,  and  I  am 
the  Bee. 

ISABE1,L,E 

Oh,  no,  Maurice.  I  never  understood  it  so.  I  am 
the  Bee. 

MORRIS 

You  —  you! 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  yes.     I  always  was  the  Bee. 

MORRIS 

Good  God  !  Did  you  take  me  for  an  apple-blos 
som?  And  you  have  pretended  to  be  a  mystic! 

ISABELLE 

I  am;  I  am  a  mystic. 

MORRIS 
Why,  you've  got  the  symbolism  all  mixed  up. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  113 

ISABELLE 

I  don't  care.  Mystic  things  always  are  mixed. 
How  else  could  they  be  beautiful? 

MORRIS 

Don't  try  to  argue,  Isabelle.  You  are  incapable  of 
it.  Remember,  you  are  only  nineteen,  and  your  im 
mature  mind  shows  in  sad  contrast  with  your  sister's 
extraordinary 

ISABELLE 

Mildred  again !  Your  head  is  hipped  with  Mildred. 
Can't  you  see  that  she  has  been  deceiving  you? 

MORRIS 
Of  course.     She  confessed  that  almost  immediately. 

ISABELLE 

She  confessed  it ! 

MORRIS 

Certainly.  She  admitted  that  she  was  trying  to 
conceal  her  infatuation  for  me.  She  had  to,  for  I 
read  her  thoughts. 

ISABELLE 

Foolish  boy!  What  do  you  know  of  woman's 
thoughts  ? 

MORRIS 

Everything.     I  am  a  dramatist. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Just  stop  to  think,  Maurice.  Only  this  morning 
she  called  us  both  "silly  children"  for  practising  Anti- 
Matrimony.  And  now  she  pretends  to  practise  it  her 
self.  Doesn't  that  show  you  how  paradoxical  she  is? 

i 

MORRIS 

Of  course;  it  shows  me  how  great — how  progres 
sive — how  modern  she  is.  Paradox  is  the  standard  of 
progress.  Only  the  vulgar  mind  is  consistent. 

ISABELLE 

Do  you  forget  the  old  proverb 

MORRIS 

Proverbs,  my  dear,  are  relics  of  the  past.  Modern 
truths  are  inverted  proverbs.  I  learned  that  from  the 
Masters  long  ago. 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  dear,  then,  I  won't  try  to  argue.  I  know  how 
much  wiser  and  deeper  you  are.  Only,  beloved,  I  will 
appeal  to  our  vows  to  each  other.  Don't  you  love  me 
— don't  you  love  me  any  more? 

MORRIS 

I  don't  see  what  that  has  to  do  with  Mildred.  I 
can't  help  it  if  you  both  love  me. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  115 

ISABELLE 

But  she  doesn't  love  you ;  not  as  I  do.  Look  at  me, 
Maurice.  Don't  you  remember  how  we  stood  here  to 
gether,  and  you  called  me  so  many  beautiful  names? 

MORRIS 

Yes.  But  they  don't  seem  to  apply  to  you  now. 
Somehow  a  different  atmosphere  seems  to  cling  about 
you. 

ISABELLE 

[Wretchedly.] 
Oh,  this  dress ! 

MORRIS 

[Suspiciously.] 

I  did  not  mention  it.  Yet  I  notice  you  still  wear  it, 
in  spite  of  my  appeal  to  your  conscience.  Presuma 
bly,  my  brother 

ISABELLE 

Elliott  has  been 


MORRIS 

I  see!  Elliott  has  been  the  reason.  Isabelle,  you 
have  turned  traitor  to  our  cause.  Instead  of  winning 
him  over  to  our  principles,  as  you  promised  me,  you 
are  allowing  him  to  corrupt  you  to  his. 

ISABELLE 

Not  at  all.  Elliott  has  been  the  only  kind  person 
in  the  house  to  me.  No  one  else  has  come  near  me. 
He  came  and  rocked  Cynthia  for  half  an  hour 


116  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Elliott  rocked  Cynthia.     Indeed! 

ISABELLE 

[With  increasing  tearfulness.'} 

And  before  that  he  read  me  an  essay  on  "Sociolog 
ical  Investigations  in  the  Slum  Districts  of  Our 
Larger " 

MORRIS 

So !  Filled  your  mind  with  slumming  and  domes 
ticity  !  And  what  else  does  Elliott  do  for  you  ? 

[Enter,  left,  ELLIOTT.] 

ELLIOTT 

Here  are  the  stockings,  my  dear. 

ISABELLE 

[Taking  from  him  a  pair  of  'baby's  socks.'] 
Oh,  thanks. 

ELLIOTT 

They're  both  mended. 

MORRIS 
By  you? 

ELLIOTT 

[To  ISABELLE.] 
Mother  urges  you  to  put  them  on  Cynthia  at  once. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  117 

ISABELLE 

I'm  sure  I  thank  you,  Elliott. 
[Exit.] 

MORRIS 

[Looking  after  her,  in  astonishment.] 
Isabella ! 

ELLIOTT 

How  remarkably  she  has  developed! 

MORRIS 
You  think  so ! 

ELLIOTT 

She  is  wonderfully  changed. 

MORRIS 

You  are  right.     She  is  wonderfully  changed.    Why 
has  she  changed? 

ELLIOTT 

Why? 

MORRIS 

Elliott,  your  profession  is  brotherly  love.     Do  you 
think  this  a  brotherly  way  to  deal  with  me? 

ELLIOTT 

This  way !    What  way? 

MORRIS 

The  way  of  the  hypocrite.    You  know  why  Isabelle 
has  changed. 


118  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

I  know? 

MORRIS 

Yes,  you  know ;  and  you  cannot  escape  me  by  turn 
ing  into  a  poll  parrot.  You  yourself  have  changed 
Isabelle. 

ELLIOTT 

You  interest  me.     Can  you  advance  any  proofs? 

MORRIS 

Proofs  !  Look  where  she's  gone  now  ;  gone  to  mind 
the  baby  of  her  own  accord.  Unprecedented !  I  tell 
you,  you  are  weaning  her  from  my  cause — from  my 
affections;  instructing  her  how  to  rock  cradles  and 
dandle  infants.  You  are  domesticating  her.  You  are 
making  her  a  Mat ! 

ELLIOTT 

And  suppose  I  were,  may  I  ask  what  you  are 
making  of  Mildred? 

MORRIS 

Certainly.  An  Anti.  I  am  proud  of  it,  and  I  gave 
you  fair  warning.  This  morning  I  offered  you  my 
principles;  you  rejected  them.  I  told  you  then  you 
would  reap  the  consequences.  Now  you  must  face 
them.  Amorata  has  accepted  my  principles,  and  has 
repudiated  you. 

ELLIOTT 

I  beg  pardon.    Who  did  you  say? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  119 

MORRIS 

Your  wife  that  was. 

ELLIOTT 

But  you  mentioned  another 


MORRIS 

I  mentioned  her  mystic  name.  You  would  not 
understand.  Oh,  it's  like  you  to  smile. 

ELLIOTT 

[Biting  his  lips,  glances  at  a  large  pad  which  he  car 
ries.] 

Did  I  smile?  If  so,  it  was  only  to  conceal  what  I 
suffer. 

MORRIS 

Do  I  not  suffer  too?  But  do  you  think  I  object  to 
that?  Suffering  is  the  symbol  of  the  cause  I  serve. 
The  joy  of  suffering  is  the  art  of  mysticism;  and  I 
am  a  practical  mystic,  who  lives  his  art. 

ELLIOTT 
You  evade  the  subject  of  Mildred. 

MORRIS 

I  do  not.  I  have  freed  her  from  your  tyranny 
frankly,  honorably,  above-board.  But  you  have  gone 
to  work  clandestinely,  treacherously,  to  inveigle  Isa- 
belle  away  from  me. 


120  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

If  I  have  ingratiated  myself  with  Isabelle,  how 
need  that  affect  you?  \Searchmgly\  Of  course,  now, 
if  you  were  married  to  her 

MORRIS 

Married !  Do  you  imagine  that  the  ABRA  CADABRA 
of  a  mumbled  marriage-vow  makes  any  difference? 

ELLIOTT 

I  have  understood  you  to  claim  that  it  makes  all 
the  difference  in  the  world. 

MORRIS 
How  so? 

ELLIOTT 

Between  an  Anti  and  a  Mat. 

MORRIS 

Why — why,  of  course,  in  a  sense,  it  does  and — and 
it  doesn't.  That  depends  on  whether  one  speaks  as 
a  man,  or  a  mystic. 

ELLIOTT 

[Glancing  again  at  Ills  pad.~\ 

You  must  forgive  me  if  I  regard  this  matter  merely 
as  a  man.  To  me,  it  is  terribly  simple:  You,  my 
brother,  have  entered  my  home  and  seduced  from  me 
my  wife. 

MORRIS 
Seduced!    How  old-fashioned  you  are! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 


ELLIOTT 

Yes,  Morris,  old-fashioned.  I  am  the  last  in  the 
line  of  those  ancient  ghosts  you  spoke  of:  my  skull 
is  square  and  my  chin  is  [Glancing  at  his  pad}  Puri 
tanical.  To  me,  this  outrage  is  not  to  be  regarded 
lightly.  To  me,  it  is  a  domestic  tragedy. 


Do 


MORRIS 

you  think  I  don't  appreciate  the  tragedy? 

ELLIOTT 


ELLIOTT 

[Taking  up  the  leathern  case,  beg'ms  to  toy  with  it, 

with  increasing  air  of  despondency.} 
This  case — I  have  smiled,  I  have  assumed  a  forced 
gaiety,   in   hopes — this  very  case — in  hopes  that   I 
should  awaken;   that   this  nightmare  would  be  dis 
pelled.     It's  of  leather — just  a  hundred  years  ago. 

MORRIS 
What's  a  hundred 

ELLIOTT 

This  case.  I  have  tried  to  put  it  off  my  mind.  But 
I  fear  it  is  hopeless. 

MORRIS 
What? 

ELLIOTT 

The  case.  It  belonged  to  an  old  cavalry — [With 
sudden  intensity}  Morris,  why  have  you  come  back 
to  revive  these  old  horrors  of  our  house?  Isn't  this 
the  night  of  the  nineteenth  of  May? 


122  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

It  is.     What  of  it? 

ELLIOTT 

[In  a  terrible  voice.'] 
Don't  stand  there.    He  stood  in  that  very  spot. 

MORRIS 

[Starting  -from  the  spot.~\ 
Who?     What  are  you  talking  about? 

ELLIOTT 

Colonel  Nehemiah  Grey,  our  ancestor.     He  stood 
there,  and  opening  this  very  case,  he  took  a  brace 

MORRIS 
Took  what? 

ELLIOTT 

He   took   a   brace — a   brace    of   old   cavalry   pis 
tols 

MORRIS 

Cavalry  pistols  ?     Good  Lord — my  play ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Who  has  opened  the  case,  takes  slowly  out  a  pistol.'] 
And  on  this  very  night  in  May,  he  shot — I've  tried 
to  put  it  off  my  mind.  But  Mildred — the  thought  of 
Mildred  always  eggs  me  on.  Morris,  this  affair  must 
be  settled  between  us.  When  I  am  moved  deeply,  I 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

am  not  a  man  of  words,  but  deeds.  We  two  are 
brothers.  One  of  us  is  enough  for  Mildred.  Just 
a  hundred  years  ago  to-night,  two  Grey  brothers 
stood  here,  as  we  are  standing  now.  One  was  super 
fluous.  Well  [slowly  raising  the  pistol],  one  was 
removed. 

MORRIS 

[Crying  out.~\ 
What  are  you  doing? 

[The  voice  of  MILDRED  calls  outside:  "Hosmer!"] 

ELLIOTT 

[Letting  his  hand  fall.] 
Her  voice ! 

[Leaving  the  open  pistol-case  on  the  table,  he  moves 
backward  toward  the  desk,  concealing  the  pistol] 

MILDRED 

[Outside,  with  musical  cadence] 
Hosmer ! 

MORRIS 

[Looking  toward  the  door,  right] 
Amorata ! 

[Enter  MILDRED.  She  is  dressed  in  Neapolitan  cos 
tume  of  scarlet  and  yellow,  and  whirls  into  the 
room,  shaking  a  tambourine] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Hosmer!  Are  you  ready  for  the  ball?  We  will  go 
to  the  ball  together. 

ELLIOTT 

[Sinks  murmuring  into  the  desk-chair. ~\ 
Hie  jacet  Elliott! 

MORRIS 

What  is  this,  Amorata? 

MILDRED 

This  is  your  triumph,  my  Hosmer.  I  have  arrayed 
myself  in  scarlet  and  fine  linen  for  you — for  you. 
Look:  am  I  not  erotic — am  I  not  beautiful? 

MORRIS 
Beyond  words. 

MILDRED 

We  will  go  to  the  ball.  I  will  dance  for  you  the 
Tarantella.  Would  you  know  me,  my  Hosmer? 
Look  in  my  eyes — would  you  guess  the  despair  in 
their  brightness?  See  me  move — would  you  suspect 
the  matrimony  that  once  weighed  me  down? 

MORRIS 
Never,  Amorata. 

MILDRED 

For  your  sake  I  wear  proudly  the  colors  of  our 
cause.     In  your  praise  I  reveal  my  long-stifled  genius. 
[Beginning  to  dance  as  she  speaks.] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

This,  at  last,  is  to  live.  I,  the  dead,  am  awakened. 
I  will  go  to  the  ball.  Like  this  I  will  dance — like  this, 
for  you  alone.  Es  lebe  das  Leben! 

[While  she  dances,  MORRIS — glancing  uneasily  at 
ELLIOTT,  who  has  buried  himself  in  the  desk- 
chair  in  the  corner — approaches  the  table  and  se 
cures  the  pistol-case,  which  he  closes  and  holds 
tightly  under  his  arm.  MILDRED  has  danced  but 
a  moment,  and  is  just  taking  a  wild,  vivacious 
pose,  when  ISABELLE  enters,  left,  confronting 
her.} 

ISABELLE 

Mildred !    Is  this — you  ? 

MILDRED 

Madam,  this  is  Amorata.  I  am  dancing  for  Hos- 
mer. 

ISABELLE 

Hosmer — Amorata!  You  have  been  reading  his 
play! 

MILDRED 

We  are  going  to  the  ball. 

ISABELLE 

What  ball?    I  don't  believe  there's  a  ball. 

MILDRED 

Pardon  me :  there  is  always  a  ball. 


126  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Maurice,  I  appeal  to  you.     Is  there  a  ball?     Are 
you  going  with  her? 

MILDRED 

Come,  my  Hosmer. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice !   Will  you  do  such  a  thing  ? 

MORRIS 
I  will  do  all  things  in  the  cause  of  Anti-Matrimony. 

ISABELLE 

But  that  is  our  cause. 

MORRIS 

No  longer,  Isabelle ;  you  have  deserted  it. 

MILDRED 

[To  MORRIS.] 
Take  me  away. 

ISABELLE 

Elliott — Elliott,  I  appeal  to  you. 
[ELLIOTT,  who  has  been  writing  at  the  desk,  rises, 
feverishly  thrusting  a  sheet  of  paper  into  an  en 
velope.'] 

MILDRED 

[To  MORRIS.] 

You  hear;  she  appeals  to  him.     Oh,  telephone  for 
an  automobile! 

[MORRIS  reaches  toward  the  instrument.] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Stop !    I  forbid  you  to  telephone. 

MORRIS 

You  forbid!     By  what  right? 

ISABELLE 

By  the  right  of  an  injured  wife. 

MILDRED  AND   ELLIOTT 

A  wife! 

ISABELLE 

Yes;  that  man  is  my  husband. 

MILDRED   AND   ELLIOTT 

Horrible! 

MORRIS 

Nonsense;  she  is  mad. 

[Putting  his  hand  on  the  telephone,  holds  the  ear- 
receiver  to  speak  in.] 
What's  the  number? 

ISABELLE 

Stop!     We  were  married  on  November  16,  1907, 
in  Vienna. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer,  is  this  true? 

MORRIS 
No ;  she  is  mad,  I  say.     Ask  her  for  proofs. 


128  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Unclasping  from  her  throat  her  gold  chain  with  a 

medallion  locket.] 
Here!    Here  are  the  proofs. 

MILDRED  AND  MORRIS 

What?     Where? 

ISABELLE 

[Opens  the  locket,  and  unfolding  a  thin  sheet  of  for 
eign  paper,  holds  it  out  exultantly.] 
Here;  this  is  our  marriage-certificate. 

MILDRED 

[Taking  it,  reads.] 

"Stadthaus,    Wien:    den    sechzehnten    November, 
neunzehn  hundert  sieben  und " 

MORRIS 

[Snatching  it  from  her.] 
Let  me  see. 

ISABELLE 

O  Maurice,  I  forgot  to  burn  it. 

MORRIS 

[Glancing  at  the  paper,  strides  to  the  fireplace.] 
Let  me  save  you  the  trouble. 

[He  throws  it  in  the  fiames.] 

ISABELLE 

Help!     Save  it. 

[She  snatches,  but  singes  her  fingers.] 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  129 

MILDRED 

You  deny  her  claim? 

MORRIS 
I  repudiate  it — and  her. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice 

MORRIS 

Stand  away  from  me. 

[He  goes  toward  the  telephone. ~\ 

ISABELLE 

Hear  me!     I  beg 

ELLIOTT 

[Starting  forward  between  them,  dashes  an  envelope 

at  MILDRED'S  feet.~\ 
Farewell  to  all  of  you ! 

[He  rushes  out  of  doors. ~\ 


MILDRED 

[  Tremblingly.] 


Elliott! 


MORRIS 

[Stooping  for  the  envelope,  hands  it  to  MILDRED.] 
What  new  insult  is  this? 


130  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[In  agitation,  opens  it  and  reads.'} 
"Faithless  one: 

You  will  find  me  in  the  mill-race. 

Elliott." 

MORRIS 

The  mill-race! 
[From  outdoors,   resounds  a  sharp,   single  report.] 

MILDRED 

Hark!     Was  that  a  pistol  shot? 

MORRIS 

[Opening  the  case.] 
The  other  is  gone. 

ISABELLE 

I  saw  one  in  his  hand. 

MILDRED 

My  God !     He  has  shot  himself. 

MORRIS 

[Starting  toward  the  door.] 
Oh,  it's  not  possible! 

MILDRED 

[Motionless  and  intense.] 
The  end  has  come. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  131 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  quickly! 

MORRIS 

What  shall  we  do? 

MILDRED 

[Half  audibly.'} 
The  mill-race. 

MORRIS 

My  scenario:  it's  all  so  horribly  like.     What  have 
I  done? 

MILDRED 

[Swaying  with  closed  eyes.~\ 
Let  me  lean  upon  you. 

MORRIS 
Don't  fall:    I'm  beside  you. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer,  it  had  to  be.     But  we  will  go  forth  in 
atonement. 

MORRIS 
Go  forth? 

MILDRED 

To  the  mill-race.     See!     I  lean  far  out  on  your 
arm.     Together — together !     Hosmer ! 

MORRIS 
Amorata ! 

[They  go  out  into  the  night.] 


132  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Following  to  the  door.'} 
Maurice,  take  me!  take  me! 

[Enter,  down  the  stairs,  MRS.  GREY,  in  perturbation.} 

MRS.    GREY 

My  dear,  I  heard  a  noise — a  shot.     What — what's 
the  matter? 

ISABELLE 

[Wildly.] 
Elliott— Mildred— Maurice 


MRS.    GREY 

Where  are  they  gone? 

ISABELLE 

[Rushing  out  of  doors.] 
To  the  mill-race. 

MRS.    GREY 

A  race,  my  dear?     A  race!     But  why 

[Hurrying  to  the  door,  she  calls  out,  while  the  door, 
right,  is  opened  stealthily,  and  ELLIOTT,  enter 
ing,  pistol  in  hand,  tiptoes  up  the  stairs.] 
Children — take    a   lantern.      You'll   need   rubbers. 
It's  very  muddy  by  the  mill-pond.    It  may  be  burglars 
— A  lantern,  my  dears — your  rubbers! 


CURTAIN. 


ACT  IV 


ACT    IV 

Later,  the  same  evening. 

At  the  desk  ELLIOTT  is  discovered,  arranging  a  pile 
of  letters.  At  the  table,  MILDRED — in  a  dress 
ing-gown,  worn  over  her  Tarantella  costume 

sits  typewriting.     ELLIOTT  crosses  to  the  table. 

ELLIOTT 

May  I  interrupt  you  a  moment? 

MILDRED 

Certainly. 

ELLIOTT 

Here's  that  correspondence  on  the  Civic  Conven 
tion.     Please  enter  these  under  separate  headings. 
[Handing  her  separate  piles  of  opened  letters.] 
This — factory  hygiene. 

MILDRED 

[As  she  takes  each  pile,  marks  the  top  sheet  with  a 
pencil,  and  lays  the  pile  separately  on  the  table.'} 
File  under  F. 

ELLIOTT 
Immigration  service. 

MILDRED 

I. 

135 


136  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Tuberculosis  exhibit. 

MILDRED 

T. 

ELLIOTT 

Playground    association.      Conservation    of    for 
ests. 

MILDRED 

P.— C. 

ELLIOTT 

Arbitration  of  labor. 

MILDRED 

A.     All  right,  sir. 

ELLIOTT 

[Glancing  at  the  typewriter  carriage  and  lifting  it.~\ 
Now,  in  this  article  of  mine  that  you're  typewrit 
ing,  I've  been  thinking:  this  matter  of  reclaiming 
the  state  bogs 

MILDRED 

[With  a  quick  glance  and  smile. ~\ 
Draining  the  swamps,  you  mean. 

ELLIOTT 

Yes. 

MILDRED 

[Taking  down  a  file,  she  puts  away  the  letters  while 

she  talks. ,] 
Want  my  advice? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  137 

ELLIOTT 

Well,  if  you 

MILDEED 

Sit  down.  I  advise  you  to  make  us  a  shining  ex 
ample,  and  begin  right  here  at  home. 

ELLIOTT 

Here? 

MILDEED 

In  our  own  orchard.    Look  at  my  red  stockings ! 

ELLIOTT 

My  dear,  you  should  have  changed  them — and  your 
dress.  You'll  catch  cold. 

MILDEED 

You  forget:  I'm  immune.  I've  got  the  influenza 
already — from  those  poor  children. 

ELLIOTT 
Where  did  you  leave  them? 

MILDEED 

After  your  shot?  Near  the  pond.  When  Isabelle 
caught  up  with  us,  I  slipped  into  the  mill,  locked  the 
door,  and  came  through  the  back  way.  They  were 
groping  then  toward  the  old  dam.  The  frogs  were 
piping ;  it  was  dark  as  a  pocket,  and  the  mud  [Bursts 
out  laughing  and  hums.] — Oh,  my  dancing  slippers! 


138  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

What!     You  steered  them  into  the  swamp? 

MILDRED 

[Innocently.] 
I  didn't  say  "steered." 

ELLIOTT 

[With  a  dubious  look.] 
Mildred!    You  never  told  me. 

MILDRED 

No  sermons,  please,  till  I  win.  My  little  game 
isn't  over. 

ELLIOTT 

How  so? 

MILDRED 

Isabelle  is  safely  married  to  Morris,  but  Morris 
hasn't  returned  the  compliment — yet. 

ELLIOTT 

By  George,  I  lost  track  of  that.  Do  you  suppose 
he's  plotting  vengeance  out  there  now? 

MILDRED 

I  suppose  fire  and  brimstone  are  a  frost  to  it.  You 
know,  he  threatened  before  to  burn  the  ghosts  out  of 
these  walls. 

ELLIOTT 

What  are  we  to  do  if  he  shows  fight? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  139 

MILDRED 

Trust  Amorata! 

ELLIOTT 

But  suppose  he  talks  Anti  among  the  neighbors? 

MILDRED 

Well,  Amorata  can  talk  too. 

ELLIOTT 

But  that  won't  put  water  on  his  fire. 

MILDRED 

My  dear,  mud  is  thicker  than  water. 
[She  puts  out  her  slippers.] 

ELLIOTT 

I  see.  You  mean  that,  after  the  swamp,  his  Anti- 
Matrimony  reform  will  be  left  to 

MILDRED 

To  the  bullfrogs.  No  young  reformer  can  afford 
to  wade  far  into  mud — especially  good,  mushy  mill- 
pond  mud.  Now  will  you  scold  me? 

[Enter  MRS.  GREY.] 

MRS.    GREY 

Haven't  they  come  back? 

MILDRED 

Who? 


140  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS.    GREY 

Why,  the  children — Morris  and  Isabelle. 
[ELLIOTT  resumes  work  at  his  desk.] 

MILDRED 

Don't  worry  about  them.  They're  sitting  in  the 
arbor. 

MRS.    GREY 

In  the  arbor!  But  it's  dark;  it's  wet;  it's  been 
raining  hard.  Why  don't  they  come  in? 

MILDRED 

Just  a  case  of  cold  feet,  I  guess. 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh,  and  I  told  Isabelle  to  take  her  rubbers :  they'll 
catch  their  deaths. 

MILDRED 

Never  fear.     They've  escaped  death  once  to-night. 

MRS.    GREY 

Mildred!  was  it  a  burglar?  What  do  you  mean? 
Oh  dear,  I  do  wish  you'd  explain  if  it's  still  charades, 
or  a  game,  or  what? 

[ELLIOTT  and  MILDRED  break  mto  laughter.] 

MILDRED 

Still  charades,  mother.     Aren't  you  guessing? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 


MRS.    GREY 

Well,  I'm  still  puzzling.  But,  anyway,  dears,  it 
does  my  heart  good  now  to  hear  you  laughing  again, 
and  to  see  you  both  happy  and  busy  at  your  work  as 
usual.  It  must  be  a  game,  I'm  sure;  so  I'll  keep  on 
guessing. 

MILDRED 

Do!  —  that's  a  darling. 

MRS.    GREY 

And  now  that  you  tell  me  they're  married,  I  know 
I  should  be  perfectly  happy.  But  why  did  they  say 
they  weren't? 

MILDRED 

Oh,  just  to  be  in  style:  it's  the  fashion. 

MRS.    GREY 

I  suppose  that's  it.  You  see,  the  fashions  change 
so,  I  don't  seem  to  keep  up  with  them.  Now,  when 
Elliott's  father  and  I  were  married,  the  wedding-cards 
came  first  and  the  christening  afterward;  but  now 
adays  - 

MILDRED 

Nowadays,  dear,  it's  christen  in  haste  and  marry 
at  leisure. 

MRS.    GREY 

To  think  of  it  ! 


142  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

[As  MILDRED  rises  and  lays  aside  her  dressing- gown, 

MRS.  GREY  looks  at  her  closely.] 
Oh,   that   dress,   Mildred!      It    sets   me   worrying 
again.     I'm  afraid  it's  worse  than  charades. 

MILDRED 

Worse? 

MRS.    GREY 

I'm  afraid  you're  practising  to— to  really  go  on 
the  stage. 

MILDRED 

Why,  what  gave  you  that  idea? 

MRS.    GREY 

^  Something  you  said.  You  said,  my  dear,  that  Mor 
ris  had  taught  you  to  be  one  of  those  theatrical  per 
sons  I've  read  about ;  it  begins  with  "s." 

MILDRED 

A  star,  you  mean? 


"super  " 


MRS.    GREY 

No,   it's   another  word:    "Super" — that  was  it— 

MILDRED 

A  "super" — me! 

MRS.    GREY 

Yes,  my  dear,  you  said  you  were  going  to  be  a 
superwoman.     I  heard  you. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[Laughing.] 

That's  right — just  a  superwoman.  And  now  I'm 
going  to  make  you  the  star,  Mother. 

MRS.    GREY 

[Aghast.] 
Me!     Me,  Mildred— a  star? 

MILDRED 

Yes;  come  along!    I've  got  an  idea. 

ELLIOTT 

[As  MILDRED  starts  up  the  stairs.] 
Where  are  you  bound  now  ? 

MILDRED 

To  the  attic  again.  You  must  go  to  your  room, 
and  take  the  lamp.  They'll  never  come  in  while  there's 
a  light  downstairs.  Come,  mother :  it's  still  charades, 
you  know.  [Raising  her  voice]  Good-night,  El 
liott! 

MRS.    GREY 

[Preceding  her.] 

A  star!  But — but — how  will  you  make  me  shine, 
Mildred? 

MILDRED 

[With  long  calling  cadence.] 
Good-night,  Elliott! 

[Exeunt  along  the  landing,  left.] 


144  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[Takmg  the  lamp  and  some  papers,  goes  out,  right.] 
Good-night,  Mildred.  Good-night ! 

[The  fire  is  very  low,  and  casts  faint,  sputtering 
gleams  into  the  dark  hall.  After  a  silence, 
through  which  only  the  clock  ticks,  two  vague 
forms  emerge  from  the  deeper  gloom  outdoors, 
and  move  stealthily  in  to  the  glow  of  the  hearth.] 

ISABELLE 

[Barely  audible. ,] 
Please  put  on  a  log. 

[The  dim  figure  of  MORRIS  gropes  to  the  wood-closet, 
opens  it  and  reaches  in.  ISABELLE  shivers  and 
shakes  her  skirt.] 

Thank  heaven  they  didn't  sit  up  any  longer:    I'm 
soaked  through. 

[Rummaging  with  half -articulate  oaths,  MORRIS 
brings  forth  two  sticks  of  wood,  puts  them 
on  the  fire  and  pokes  it.  The  room  grows  in 
termittently  lighter,  revealing  the  plightful  ap 
pearance  of  the  two.  MORRIS'S  dress-suit  is 
soaked  and  bedraggled  with  mire,  the  shirt-bosom 
bespattered  with  mud.  ISABELLE'S  appearance  is 
similarly  forlorn;  and  both  are  dishevelled  by  the 
rain.] 

ISABELLE 

[Faintly.] 
I'm  famished. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  145 

MORRIS 

[Taking  a  silver  basket  of  white  grapes  from  the 

mantelpiece.] 
Grapes ;  have  some. 

ISABELLE 

[More  faintly.] 
Thanks. 

[Shoving  the  settee  near  the  hearth  for  ISABELLE  to 
sit  in,  MORRIS — wringing  his  dilapidated  coat- 
tails — sinks  on  to  a  hassock  in  the  shadow.  Fol 
lows  then  a  speechless  pause,  during  which  the 
occasional  patter  of  grape-skins  in  the  fire  indi 
cates  their  occupation.  Soon  ISABELLE  speaks, 
plaintively.] 
If  only  the  mill-door  hadn't  been  locked 

[MORRIS  makes  a  guttural  sound.] 
We  needn't  have  waded  through  that  awful  swamp. 

MORRIS 
Hah! 

ISABELLE 

Maurice,  are  you  ill? 

MORRIS 
[Abysmally.] 
Mill-door! 

ISABELLE 

Is  it  the  grapes?    I'm  afraid  they're  sour. 


146  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

She  locked  it.  I  saw  her  go  in.  She  left  us  to 
flounder  in  the  mire. 

ISABELLE 
Ah,  so  you  begin  to  see  through  her.     At  last  you 

realize  I  was  right.     You  must  acknowledge 

[A  bunch  of  grapes  falls  in  her  lap.] 
Thank  you.     Oh,  how  I  do  wish — - — 

MORRIS 
[Hoarsely.] 
Don't  wish :    eat ! 

ISABELLE 

[After  another  pause  of  grape-eating.] 
Beloved,  what  will  become  of  your  campaign  now? 

MORRIS 
[Growling.] 
Mud! 

ISABELLE 

Wasn't  it  awful  ?  Up  to  my  knees !  If  only  we  had 
stayed  on  the  mountain-tops  of  our  spirit,  this  never 
would  have  happened.  I'm  sure  it's  symbolic. 

[MORRIS  mutters.] 

Don't  you  feel,  dear,  after  all,  that  this  mud  has 
a  certain  mysticy  something 

MORRIS 
Sticky?    I'm  a  paste-pot! 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  147 

ISABELLE 

It  will  soon  dry,  dear.  Now  that  I'm  safe  indoors 
and  feeling  warmer,  I  begin  to  see  all  this  in  its  true 
poetic  light. 

MORRIS 
Poetic!    Where's  a  match? 

[He  rises  and  gropes  about.] 

ISABELLE 

I  begin  to  feel  that  I  can  even  forgive  Mildred. 
I  can  understand  how,  being  my  sister,  a  certain 
mystic  likeness  to  me  should  have  led  you  to  feel  that 
temporary  infatuation 

MORRIS 
Damn! 

ISABELLE 

Can't  you  find  a  light,  dear? 

MORRIS 

[Striking  his  shins  against  a  chair.] 
Not  a  glim! 

ISABELLE 

Light  a  scrap  of  paper. 

MORRIS 

[Tearing  a  piece  of  paper  off  a  pad  on  the  table, 
takes  it  to  the  fire.  There,  about  to  light  it,  he 
looks  closer  and  reads.] 

"Suicide:  pistols,  coal-gas,  drowning  (mill-race 
preferred)."  O  Hades! 


148  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

What  did  you  say,  love? 

MORRIS 
I  said— Hell. 

[He  crumples  the  paper,  twists  it  and  lights  it  in  the 

fire.     Carrying  it  thus  as  a  taper,  he  searches  on 

the  table.~\ 

Where's  a  cigarette? 
[Feeling  in  a  tin  box,  lie  takes  from  it  a  cartridge, 

glances  at  it,  lifts  the  box  quickly  and  reads  the 

label] 

"44  Calibre  Blank  Cartridges."  Blank!  Blankety 
blank ! ! 

[The  taper  burns  short  and  he  blows  it  out.~\ 

ISABELLE 

Besides,  dear,  when  I  stop  to  consider  that,  out  of 
my  guiding  love  for  you,  I  really  did  dazzle  poor  El 
liott  a  little  too 

[The  clock  begins  to  strike. ,] 

Goodness !  Ten  o'clock.  I  wonder  if  that  darling 
baby  has  had  her 

MORRIS 
What?     What's  that? 

ISABELLE 

Oh,  nothing — I  beg  pardon. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  149 

MORRIS 

Did  I  hear  you  refer  to  the  baby? 

ISABELLE 

I  just  thought  about  her  bottle,  but  of  course • 

MORRIS 

Thank  God!  That's  the  first  sensible  thought 
you've  had  to-night. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice ! 

MORRIS 
No — Morris;  "Maurice"  is  up  the  spout. 

ISABELLE 

But,  my  love — you  know,  ever  since  we  first  en 
tered  into  Anti-Matrimony 

MORRIS 
Anti-Matrimony  is  in  the  mud. 

ISABELLE 

Dearest,  don't  speak  so.  You  mustn't  think  be 
cause  I  weakly  referred  to  the  baby  that  I  don't  share 
with  you  your  lofty  emancipated  ideals.  And,  be 
loved,  even  if  I  did  keep  our  marriage-certificate  in 
the  locket,  please  forgive  me  for — — 

MORRIS 

Quit  it,  Isabelle.  It's  the  only  thing  I  do  forgive 
you  for. 


150  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

What — the  marriage-certificate !    But  you've  always 
told  me  that  the  Masters 

MORRIS 

Drop  them,  please !    Can't  you  see  that  I've  got  to 
get  a  whole  clean  suit,  or  go  back  to  the  swamp? 

ISABELLE 

A  clean  suit?    But — • — 

MORRIS 

A  new  campaign. 

ISABELLE 

[Gasping.] 
Do  you  mean  that  we  are  to  be  Mats? 

MORRIS 
Just  so — to  scrape  the  mud  off. 

ISABELLE 

But,  darling,  is  that  quite  consistent? 

MORRIS 

Consistent?     Haven't  I  told  you  that  consistency 
is  a  fallacy  of  the  vulgar  mind?    I  am  an  artist. 

ISABELLE 

Oh! 

MORRIS 

All  perfect  art  is  paradox. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  151 

ISABELLE 

I  see. 

MORRIS 

And  therefore  a  modern  artist  who  is  truly  a  su 
perman —  Oh,  damn  it,  there  I  go  again.  Stop  me. 
I'm  cribbing  from  the  old  dress-suit  case. 

ISABELLE 

Dearest,  I  don't  know  just  what  to  say.  I  feel  so 
very — so —  What  will  Mildred  think  of  this  change 
in  you? 

MORRIS 

She?  Don't  you  see  that  she  thinks  she  has  the 
Yankee  laugh  on  us? 

ISABELLE 

Insufferable  American  humor! 

MORRIS 

Quite  so.  It's  devilish,  but  now  it's  our  last  resort. 
It's  simply  a  case  of  fight  the  devil  with  fire,  or — be 
roasted.  [Muttering]  "Mill-race  preferred!" 

ISABELLE 

What  are  we  to  do  ? 

MORRIS 

Yankee  them  back,  that's  all.  Wipe  them  out  with 
a  clean  sponge.  They  expect  me  to  scowl  and  swear. 
Well  then,  watch  me  smile  and  compliment. 


152  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

I'm  watching,  dear.     Do  you  really  mean  it? 

MORRIS 
[Grimly.] 
Do  I  look  it? 

ISABELLE 

I  mean —  Do  you  mind,  darling,  if  I — if  I  feel — 
very  happy  about  it? 

MORRIS 
Happy  about  what? 

ISABELLE 

[Embracing  him.'] 
That  we're  to  be  Mats,  after  all! 

THE    VOICE    OF    MILDRED 

[Low  and  plaintively. ~\ 
Hosmer ! 

[MORRIS  starts.] 

ISABELLE 

[Clinging  to  him.~\ 
My  dear! 
[At  the  top  of  the  stairs,  appears  an  obscure  Figure] 

THE  VOICE 
[Wailing  again] 
Hosmer!    Why  have  you  forsaken  me? 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  153 

ISABEI/LE 

[Nervously,  to  MORRIS.] 
What  is  it? 

MORRIS 

It's  the  limit. 

[The  Figure  hesitates,  and  starts  to  turn  back.~\ 

THE  VOICE 
It  is  I — Amorata! 

ISABELLE 

Some  one  is  coming  down  the  stairs.    Look !    Is  it 
she? 

[In  the  'vagueness,  the  Figure  slowly  descends.'} 

THE  VOICE 

[With  dying  cadence. ,] 

Why  did  you  leave  me  alone — alone  in  the  mill- 
pond? 

MORRIS 

[TO  ISABELUE.] 
Keep  out  of  the  firelight. 

[At  the  bottom  of  the  stairs,  the  Figure  emerges  in 
to  the  faint  glow  of  the  -fire.  Clad  in  a  long, 
gray  cloak  of  ample  folds,  and  huge  peaked  hat 
pulled  far  down  over  its  face,  it  moves  slowly 
toward  them.] 

MILDRED 

Now  I  am  doomed  to  walk  as  your  family  ghost: 
O  grey,  grey,  grey — forsaken  f orevermore ! 


154  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 
[To   ISABELLE.] 

Leave  go  of  me. 

THE    VOICE 

[As  the  Figure  raises  one  cloaked  arm  and  points  at 

them.] 

I    am   the   Passionate   Puritan.      Forever   I   shall 
haunt  you  both — forevermore! 

MORRIS 

[Coming  forward."] 

Stop  pointing  at  me.     Take  off  your  hat.     Stop 
this  miserable  faking ! 

THE    FIGURE 

[Removing  the  great  hat.~\ 
Why,  Morris,  it's  only  charades. 
[Emerging  from  the  ample  cloak,  which  falls  on  the 
floor,  MRS.  GREY  stands  revealed  in  the  firelight.] 

ISABELLE 

Mother  Grey ! 

MORRIS 
[Raising  both  arms,  inarticulate,  suddenly  bolts  for 

a  corner.] 
O  shucks! 

MRS.    GREY 

Yes;  you've  guessed.     That's  the  word.     Mildred 
just  told  me  so. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  155 

MILDRED 

[Appearing  between  the  curtams  of  the  landing,  runs 

down  the  stairs,  striking  a  match .] 

Elliott,  Elliott,  come !     Hot  chocolate  for  five ! 

[She  lights  a  lamp  on  the  desk.] 

ELLIOTT 

[Entering,  downstairs,  left,  with  a  steaming  tray.~\ 
Who's  won?     What  does  he  say? 

MILDRED 

We've  won:    He  says  "Shucks!"     We've  made  a 
Yankee  of  him,  after  all. 

ELLIOTT 

[Setting  the  tray  on  the  table.] 
Hang  if  we  haven't. 

MILDRED 

You   darlings — both!      The   Antitoxin   has    cured 
you. 

MRS.    GREY 

The  what — Mildred? 

MILDRED 

[Whispers  in  MRS.  GREY'S  ear.] 
Quickly. 

MRS.    GREY 

But  how 

[Motioned  away   by  MILDRED,   she    exits,    agitated, 
up  the  stairs.] 


156  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You  adorable  boy — let  me  kiss  you! 

MORRIS 

Thanks;  presently.  [Aside  to  ISABELLE]  Now 
just  watch  me!  [To  MILDRED]  But  first  I  wish  to 
apologize. 

MILDRED 

Apologize ! 

MORRIS 

For  having  made  you  the  victims  of  my  little  prac 
tical  joke. 

ELLIOTT 

Victims ! 

MILDRED 

Your  little  joke? 

MORRIS 

I  am  very  glad  you  take  it  so  lightly.  I  was 
afraid —  You  see  our  appearance. 

ELLIOTT 
Been  fishing? 

MORRIS 

Yes,  Elliott — in  the  mill-race — fishing  for  suckers. 
They  still  bite. 

ELLIOTT 

So  it  looks. 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  157 

MORRIS 

Doesn't  it  ?  You  see,  it  happened  like  this :  I  am, 
as  Mildred  knows,  writing  a  little  skit  on  the  Masters, 
called  "Hosmer's  Home,"  in  which,  by  the  way,  Isa- 
belle  is  collaborating. 

ISABELLE 

A  little  skit. 

MORRIS 

So  it  occurred  to  me — while  we  were  waiting  for 
our  trunks  from  the  steamer — knowing  Mildred's 
great  fondness  for  dancing  and  private  theat 
ricals 

MILDRED 

[Twinkling.] 
Oh,  you  arch  villain! 

MORRIS 

It  occurred  to  me,  I  say,  to  enlist  her  rare  gifts  in 
trying  out  a  few  scenes  in  the  rough,  just  to  work 
up  my  material.  She  was  very  obliging. 

ISABELLE 
Very. 

MORRIS 

You  also,  Elliott,  came  nobly  to  the  rescue.  I  am 
only  sorry — and  apologize — that  in  working  up  the 
mill-race  climax,  our  enthusiasm  should  have  slightly 
damaged  these  stage-properties:  This  dress-suit  of 


158  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

yours,  Elliott,  which  I  took  the  liberty  of  borrow 
ing — — 

ELLIOTT 

The  deuce  you  did! 

MORRIS 

And  that  dress  of  yours,  Mildred,  which  you  so 
kindly  loaned  to  Isabelle. 

ISABELLE 

It  was  good  of  you,  Mildred ! 

MILDRED 

Not  at  all,  dear,  considering  your  trunks  arrived 
here  yesterday  evening. 

ISABELLE 

[Shaking  MILDRED.] 
My  own  trunks?     Here?     Yesterday? 

MILDRED 

So  now  we  are  ready  for  supper. 

[She  arranges  the  table  and  chairs.} 

ELLIOTT 

[Taking  MORRIS'S  hand.} 
Never  mind  about  the  suit.     Want  to  change  now? 

MORRIS 

No,  thanks.     I'll  put  it  in  the  suit-case — later.  Just 
now  I'm  interested  in  that  map  of  yours. 
[Points  to  the  wall.} 


ANTI-MATRIMONY  159 

ELLIOTT 

Oh,  my  ideal  community ! 

MORRIS 

Yes.     Please  show  me  your  Home  for  Incurable 
Married  Couples. 

MRS.    GREY 

[Appears  on  the  stairs,  holding  a  swaddled  bundle.] 
Mildred 

ISABELLE 

[With  a  cry.] 
Oh,  it's  the  baby ! 

[She  rushes  to  the  stairs  and  seizes  it  from  MRS. 
GREY.] 

The  darling!     Has  she  had  her  bottle? 

MORRIS 
Halloa!     Is  that  Cynthia? 

MILDRED 

[Beckoning  all  to  the  table,  where  the  steaming  cups 

are  arranged,  takes  CYNTHIA  in  her  arms.] 
Cynthia  who? 

MORRIS 
Just  Cynthia. 

MILDRED 

No,  indeed.     This    is    Cynthia    Grey.      Isn't    it, 
Mother? 


160  ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS.    GREY 

Oh,  yes,  my  son.     Please!     We  can  christen  her 
Grey  now,  can't  we? 

MORRIS 

Grey  ?    No,  Mammy :  Red- whit e-and-blue  for  Cyn 
thia! 

MILDRED 

Her  Aunt  Mildred  is  going  to  be  godmother. 

MORRIS 

[Looking  across  Ills  lifted  cup  of  chocolate,  to  MIL 
DRED,  as  they  all  gather  round  the  table.'] 
Here's  to  her  Auntie! 

MILDRED 

[Cuddling  CYNTHIA.] 
Hush,  Morris.    You  mustn't  say  "Anti !" 

FINIS. 


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MAR  11 192* 

SEP  26  1920 
I9ZI 


6  IS26 


NOV   10  1931 


STACKS 


R£C'D  LD 

APR  2  9'  1961 


M  3  j  1399 


50m-7,'ie 


too  2 f 


YB  31870 


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